Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Life with a baby, trip to Vegas and other matters

What a hectic few months it has been since the last time I posted on here. I'm not sure if anyone really notices but I thought I had better update since I actually have something to say this time! You would think that having a nine month old would give me lots to talk about, wouldn't you? The truth there is that by the time I get around to turning on the computer (usually when he is sleeping), the last thing on my mind is thinking up things to write in my blog. Mostly, I just want to sit and veg out in some mindless way but I'm trying to be more proactive so..here I am!

So what CAN I say about the past 4.5 months since the last time I posted? Well, I can say that is has been hectic and tiring and at times, endless. But I can also say that it has been exciting, amazing and really just so awesome and so much fun. I guess I knew realistically that babies change a lot during the first year but it is hard to get your mind around just how much they change until you really experience it. Somehow, Wil went from this little bundle of arms and legs that just mostly stayed in one place unless I moved him to this little man that can sit up on his own, can stand up with help, loves eating cheese and has a REALLY loud voice! How did that happen in just a few months?? More and more often, I find myself just looking at him and wondering where the past few months have gone and asking myself where I was when all of these changes were happening. The truth there is that life just happens. You get busy doing the daily day-to-day stuff that goes into raising a little one and unless you regularly take the time to step back and look for the changes, they just become a part of your daily life. Of course, that isn't to say that all of the changes have not been momentous...they definitely have...the first smile, the first laugh, the first time he rolled over and the first time he blew a raspberry while I was feeding him peas (yes, really) are all firmly imprinted in my memory. It is just that I am with him all the time so I don't really notice that he is physically changing unless someone points it out to me..which is something that has happened with alarming regularity lately!
A few weeks ago, I had a few people who hadn't seen him in a few months say to me that he didn't even look like the same child from the last time they saw him so I made a point of pulling out the pictures from when he was younger and looking. And you know...they were right! How is it possible for a human being to completely change the way they look in the short span of 4 months?! But more than that, it was a lot of fun for me to look at those pictures from the early days and see just how he has changed physically..no matter what, I think he is absolutely adorable but I might be a bit biased!
It is hard for me to think back to what life was like in the first few months after Wil was born. I think life is crazy now with having to keep up with a little one that wants to move constantly but when I think back, I know it is nothing to the nervousness, uncertainty and almost outright fear of the first few weeks! Of course, every baby is different and so are the experiences but I definitely believe that the newborn stage with be easier with the second one (no, I am NOT pregnant!) when it happens, just for having been through it before. One of my friends just recently had her first and asked me for advice and I found so many things rushing to the surface and so many things that I wanted to tell her. But in the end, I thought it might be better not to terrify her so I kept a lot of it to myself! Plus, there are just some things that you have to learn for yourself and no amount of advice from well meaning friends is going to make a lick of difference. See how wise I am now??!
Anyway, the short story is that life with a baby has been amazing and with the closer I get to going back to work, I'm trying to make every moment count. Of course there are still days when I'm tired and my temper is short but they are fewer and far in between and I just keep reminding myself to enjoy it now because this first year of spending every day with him is not going to last forever. He is an awesome little boy with a great personality and a sense of humour that is developing more every day and I can't wait to see what the next year brings as he passes that one year mark and heads for the terrible (terrific ??) twos!
Okay, I'll stop now and go on to something else!! My lovely husband and I just recently decided that we needed a vacation so we arranged (read: begged) my mom to look after Wil for us for a few days and booked ourselves a trip to Las Vegas! We had been there a few times before but I don't think I had every really appreciated the whole idea of a vacation until I considered just how much I was willing to pay for a few days of being able to sleep in! Vegas seemed like a pretty good choice to me since it was full of adults..lol! I know, my requirements are pretty slim at this point! Anyway, we dropped Wil off at my mom's and stayed until he had fallen asleep under the guise that it would be easier for him if he woke up in the morning to find my mom there to take care of him. In reality, it was probably easier on us to leave him like that and I am proud to say that I didn't sob..there were just a few tears here and there.
Once we had torn ourselves away, we drove through the night to Buffalo and embarked on our journey with an early morning flight. The flight(s) were uneventful (aside from me hurting my knee while stepping off one of the planes on to the tarmac, but that is nothing new to anyone that knows me!) and the weather was wonderfully warm forthe entire time we got there. Okay, it was hot. Damn hot. But Las Vegas is heavily air conditioned so I could deal with it. We stayed at Treasure Island for a couple reasons, the first being that it has a pirate theme and the second being that every review that we read heaped praise on the new beds they have installed during their recent renovation. And lets just say that I can confirm that it was worth every single dollar we spent on the hotel just to have a few days to sleep on that wonderful memory foam mattress. We were so impressed that we are now presently in the market for a memory foam mattress topper for our incredibly uncomfortable plain and regular mattress! Yeah, it was THAT good. There were only a few times that I woke up from a dead sleep in a panic that I had missed a diaper change, bottle feeding or crying baby but I'm happy to report that it didn't take me long to get back to sleep!!
We did a little bit of gambling when we were there but not a whole lot and for the most part, we kept to the penny slots. We saw a couple shows when we were there but for the most part, we just wandered around and took in the sights and sounds...and more than a few margaritas! In short, it was pretty heavenly although I can say that we did spend a lot of time thinking and talking about Wil but from what I understand, that is normal parental behaviour!
There were a few things though that I noticed about people in general that makes me wonder if I've been living under a rock for the past year. Maybe I just haven't travelled a lot lately but I just can't get over how...piggish..people can be! Yes, piggish..there is really no other word for it. Case in point, when it was time for us to finally leave Vegas and return to the regular world, we had an early morning flight so we headed to the airport in plenty of time. We got to the departure lounge and settled into a couple of seats to watch our fellow travellers trickle in and it wasn't long before the rest of the seats were filled too. There was a party of people that were obviously travelling together and they came and sat down near us, which was fine. Well, it was fine until one gentlemen got up, walked over to the nearby garbage can, bent over it and pressed one finger to his right nostril and blew his snot into the garbage can! Then he calmly straightened up and walked back to his seat. Umm..EWW! I was so grossed out that it took me a moment to fully comprehend that he had actually blew his nose candy all over the garbage can but when I took a look around me at my fellow travellers, the looks on their faces made it pretty clear that I hadn't imagined it. And when I had barely recovered from that, something else happened that blew that out of the water (no pun intended). This man (who was coincidentally travelling with the snot man, as I decided to call him), started coughing and then made this horrific noise as he dredged whatever it was that was sitting in his throat up into his mouth. This, of course, got everyone's attention and made sure we were all looking at him and able to witness when he sat up, bent forward and proceeded to spit whatever he had in his mouth onto the carpet in front of his seat. I swear to you now that I nearly fainted dead out. I was soooooooooooo grossed out that I couldn't help the "That's SO disgusting" that involuntarily errupted from my lips. I know the man heard me as I wasn't quiet about it but his only response was to cover the spot with his shoe and smoosh it into the carpet. Like THAT made it better! The woman next to me looked at me and said "Did that man just hawk a loogie onto the carpet?" and all I could do was just nod and I spent the rest of the time sitting there and praying that the karma gods didn't hate me enough to seat me in the same section as that group on the plane. Thankfully, Karma gave me a break and I didn't have to deal with them again. Even now, the thought of it is enough to just gross me out. Needless to say, I won't be placing anything on the floor in front of the seats in a departure lounge again since I know exactly what could be there. Gross, gross, gross. And while I can realistically understand that it could be a cultural difference that led to that behaviour (yes, I'm trying to be polite), I really don't think that it is EVER necessary to do anything that offensive in a public place. Have some respect for your fellow human beings, for crap's sake. Just plain EW.
Anyway, that is really all I have to say at the moment. Vacation was good but it was also good to get back and see how much Wil had changed in the time we were away. It sure made me appreciate all I have here and I think that was the best part of the vacation! Now I'm just hoping that the next vacation comes quickly!!

Monday, February 04, 2008

The first four months of my new life

Wow, I can hardly believe that it has been so long since the last time I blogged! I had the best of intentions after the dawning of the new year last year but, I guess, life happened and it just didn't turn out the way I expected. I'm sure most of everyone has just about given up on me ever blogging again but I felt the urge today so...here you go!

It is kind of funny to look back on that last post that I wrote at the beginning of 2007 and look at where I am now, here at the beginning of 2008. I thought, at that time, that it would be a big year for me but I had absolutely no way of knowing just how BIG it would be. Actually, I don't think that "big" even really scratches the surface of what 2007 was. Most of the people that read this blog at one time would know that I gave birth to my first child on October 19, 2007 and really, if that isn't big then I'm not sure what is!

Childbirth..hmm..now THAT was an interesting life experience! It wasn't that I didn't want to have a baby because I definitely did. There hasn't really been a time in my life that I didn't think that I would have children and my husband and I had made a decision to start trying at the beginning of 2007 so really, I shouldn't have been THAT shocked to find out at the end of January that I was pregnant. But I was..I was flabbergasted. But I have to say that I really, really enjoyed most of the entire experience of being pregnant and can honestly say that it is something that you can never really understand or appreciate fully until you have experienced it. The experience of childbirth is very much the same way..until you have been through it, you have no idea not only what it takes to get through it, but also just how much it gives back to you. It is almost like being given the membership card to a very exclusive club. I guess that would have to be the "I've pushed a very large object out of a very small hole" club or something like that...hehehe. But really, after I had my son I started to look at other mothers in a different light, knowing that most had been through a similar experience to mine and to this day, I can't help but wonder if they feel the same overwhelming and fierce pride and need to protect that I feel for my son.

But actually, to be honest, I had started looking at mothers in a different light long before the day I gave birth..it really started the day that I found out that I was pregnant. I had had a negative test result already so by the time I retook the test and it came back positive, you could have knocked me over with a feather. And my husband and I had planned on taking a shopping trip to Buffalo on the day we found out and I can honestly say that I spent the entire day wandering around and looking at mothers with their children, wondering just how in the world I was EVER going to be able to do it. And I can say that it only got worse as I got closer to my due date, almost to the point that I wanted to ask women on the street how they managed to keep it together. But now, with my four month old son sleeping in his swing beside me as I type, I realize that you just do it. You learn on your feet. You do your best and know that is all you can do. I think the best piece of advice that I was given was from my friend Kate during one of my many frantic phone calls when she told me not to worry so much because all my baby wanted me to do was to love him and didn't know any better that I didn't know what I was doing. It really has been an incredible experience and even though there have been (and still are) days when I have to ask myself what the hell I was thinking, I just have to look at my son and see him laugh and smile at me to know that it has been worth every sleepless night.

So, in light of that, here are a few things that I have learned about motherhood, and just life in general, over the past few months.

  • Despite what you may think, when your friends tell you that it gets better, they are telling the truth

  • You can survive on 40 minutes of sleep in a 48 hour period

  • Just when you sit down for a few minutes of relaxation, that is when your baby will wake up screaming

  • When people offer you help, don't be too proud to accept it

  • Get an epidural

  • A baby swing may just be the best thing ever invented

  • Your life will never be the same as it once was but it will be better in many ways

  • Your baby will eventually start sleeping for longer periods at night but it still won't feel long enough
  • There will be times when the crying just gets to be too much and when you need to just have a few minutes of time to yourself when you think to yourself that you miss the way your life used to be. This is perfectly normal..it happens to everyone and it does NOT make you a bad mom.
  • The big milestones of the first few months (first smile, rolling over for the first time, etc..) will always happen way before you are ready for it. It is okay to be happy and sad at the same time that your baby is growing so quickly
  • The smallest things can be endlessly entertaining to a baby and will be a lifesaver to you and your sanity!
  • There is absolutely nothing quite like the sound of your baby laughing or the sight of your baby smiling at you

Well, that is all that I have for now although I'm sure I'll come up with more along the way! I hope that I'll be able to be around here more often and give you a bird's eye view as Wil gets older. I've missed you guys!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Happy New Year...here's to a fresh start!

Well Christmas has come and gone and once again, we are thrust into the not so cold and barren landscape that is January. Hmm..that sounded rather pessimistic, didn't it? Well, okay then, let's try that again. Christmas was good this year and I was lucky to be able to spend the week between Christmas and New Years all safe and happy at my mom's house surrounded by my husband, my mom, my sister and brother in law and my wonderful one year old nephew. So yes, it was a very good Christmas and I loved being there with them and just enjoying the time we can spend together because it doesn't happen enough.

But inevitably, the time passed far more quickly than I had hoped for and all of a sudden, we were all heading back to our respective corners of our lives and I guess I'm suffering from withdrawal. I miss my family and I miss that warm feeling of being around the people that I love and knowing that they will always love me no matter what I do with my life. I guess that warm and fuzzy feeling is one of the reasons that I look forward to Christmas so much every year and I know that next year will be no different. It will only be better.

So now here I am at the beginning of a new year and although I have tried to stay away from the whole "New Year Resolution" thing, I know a few of them have snuck in there somewhere. I intend to keep on with this whole weight loss thing that I've got going and have made a renewed committment to trying to become inspired again to do it. That is the big one for me, and rightly so, since I know that the next year of my life is going to most likely hold a whole lot in the way of big changes. So I need to focus on myself and getting myself to where I need to be, both emotionally and physically...that is my gift to myself.

Other than that, I'm trying REALLY hard to change my outlook and the way I think about a few different aspects of my life. I know that isn't really giving much in the way of information but let's just say that the last part of 2006 wasn't an easy time for me emotionally in a lot of ways and I lost perspective on a few things in particular. I need to get that perspective back again and start remembering that my life is a pretty awesome place to be. I need to stop dwelling so much on the past and instead, focus on the things in my life that I have some influence over. I have more than enough to be thankful for and sometimes I just need a knock on the head to remember that.

The one thing that I do know is that as I stand here at the beginning of a new year, there is a lot in store for not only myself, but the people in my life. There are so many things that I'm looking forward to, least of which is the arrival of two very special bundles of joy by way of two very special people. And in there somewhere are the plans that we are making for a vacation with my husband and two of our very good friends. Yeah, I know it will be a great year, no matter what.

So this is me saying "Welcome 2007" and all that comes along with it, good and bad. After all, it is our experiences that make us the people that we become. And heaven knows we could all use a bit more experience..heehee.

Oh, and just because I can, I stole this from Aimee at Aimee Thinks. I thought this might shed a bit more light on what makes me the person I am. Thanks Aimee!

1. A Cuddler? Oh yeah...it is one of my favourite things to do. I just love that personal contact.
2.A morning person? Definitely not..I love a good morning of sleeping in.
3. Are you a perfectionist? It depends. There are certain parts in my life that I demand perfection of myself and others but as a rule, I would say not really.
4. An only child? No. I have an older sister named Tammy.
5. Catholic? Yes, although not practicing at this point.
6. In your pajamas? Not yet!
7. Currently suffering from a broken heart? There are several forms of a broken heart so...yes.
8. Okay styling other people's hair? Yes, definitely. Even now, I can honestly say I should have been a hair stylist. That was my first instinct!
9. Left handed? Kind of...is that possible? I am mostly right handed but I can do most things with my left hand, just not as well.
10. Addicted to MySpace? No, I have resisted.
11. Shy around the opposite gender? No. I've never been shy around the male population, which I am proud of. Albeit, it has led to problems along the way but I'd rather that than being shy.
12. Loud? It has been known to happen.

13. Bite your nails? Not any more! I stopped cold turkey in 2006 after biting them all my life.
14. Get paranoid at times? No. I worry more than I suffer from paranoia. I worry about everything.
15. Currently regret something that you have said/done? No. I don't regret it..just worry about it.
16. Curse frequently when you get mad? Only when I'm in the car and driving by myself. Then I curse like a sailor!
17. Enjoy country music? Yes. I have my parents to thank for that!
18. Enjoy jazz music? Every so often. I enjoy "lounge music" (as my husband calls it) more.
19. Enjoy smoothies? Oh yes.
20. Enjoy talking on the phone? I love talking on the phone..always have. My best friend lives far away and we have been known to talk for as many as 8 hours in one sitting.
21. Have a lot to learn? Yes, of course. Every day is a learning experience
22. Have a pet? Yes, a beagle named Jasper.
23. Have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person? I fell for several "wrong persons" before finally falling for the right one, my husband.
24. Have all your grandparents died? Yes, unfortunately. Lets see if I can remember: 1976, 1992, 1993, 1994.
25. Have at least one sibling? Yes, one older sister named Tammy.
26. Have been told that you are smart? Once or twice along the way.
27. Have had a broken bone? Yes, my tailbone. Does that count if you can't put it in a cast? In typical fashion, I fell down a clay hill in the rain on my first day of college.
28. Have Caller I.D. on your phone? No. There is just something fun about not knowing who might be on the other end. For those few seconds, the possibilities are endless!

29. Changed a diaper? Yes, although not for a while.
30. Changed a lot over the past year? Ohysically, maybe not a lot but definitely some. Mentally, no. Emotionally, yes.
31. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color? Yes
32. Had surgery? Not major surgery, no. And even the minor stuff was years ago.
33. Killed anyone? Not yet.
34. Had your haircut within the last week? No.

35. Slept in the bed beside you? My husband Adam.
36. Saw you cry? My husband Adam, two nights ago.
37. Went to the movies with you? My husband Adam while indulging my Orlando Bloom obsession.
38. You went to the mall with? Adam..is this getting repetitive?!
39. You went to dinner with?Um...yep, you guessed it...Adam. We apparently do a lot together.
40. You talked to on the phone? Adam..just a couple minutes ago.
41. Said 'I love you' to you and meant it? Adam..on the phone a couple minutes ago!
42. Broke your heart? There is someone although they shall remain nameless. I'm as much to blame as them but it doesn't make it hurt any less and my heart breaks all over again just to think about it.
43. Made you laugh? Adam..he always make me laugh and knows exactly how to do it and when I need it most.

44. Pierce your nose or tongue? Definitely nose. I always wanted to when I was younger until my dad chased me around the living room with a darning needle. That cured that.
45. Be serious or be funny? Funny. I've always been told that I'm funny and I love being that way. Life would be a lot better if there were more funny people in this world.
46. Drink whole or skim milk? I'm a 1% fan but if I had to choose, I'd err on the skim milk side of things.
47. Die in a fire or drown? Either one sounds pretty horrific. I guess though that burning would be worse..I have a fear of this happening. Hopefully drowning would be less painful and quicker.
48. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Definitely my mom. She is one of my best friends and I love her completely.

49. What time is it? 5:39..on a Friday, no less! I'm going home.
50. Name? Heather
51. Nickname(s)? Head, Headder, Missy, Precious (don't ask!)
52. Where were you born? Walkerton, Ontario
53. What is your birthdate? June 5th
54. What do you want? To be happy..to be healthy..to be skinny(ier)..to be content..to have children..for daylight savings time to start..and on and on and on..
55. Where do you want to live? At one time it was Price Edward Island...lately it has been Oregon...in reality, I'd be most happy whever I could be surrounded by my family and loved ones.
56. How many kids do you want? I've always only ever wanted two.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Easing back in and being tagged by Brianne

So how does one ease back in to blogging after being away from it for the better part of a year? Why by responding to a tagging that the wonderful Brianne gave me WAYYYYYYYYY back at the end of October. Yeah, I'm a little on the slow side. People that know me should not be surprised.

Anyway, here we go..

Ten Weird Things About Me

1. I still can not sleep with my arms/legs hanging over the edge of the bed at night for fear that something/someone will get me. Definitely irrational

2. When I address people, I like to sing their names.

3. I have an ongoing fictional story that I have developed in my head and whenever I'm doing something that requires me to wait (standing in a line somewhere, waiting for my car to get an oil change, etc) I add to it.

4. One day a couple months ago, at the age of 31, I suddenly decided to stop biting my nails. I've been biting them for as long as I can remember but since that day, I haven't slipped once.

5. I give names to everything and enjoy having conversations with inanimate objects.

6. I am the world's worst procrastinator and function best in what most people would call disorganized chaos.

7. The sight of earwhigs makes me feel physically ill.

8. I flutter my eyelashes ALOT.

9. When I was little, a wooden door fell over and hit me on the head. I still have a "soft spot" where it hit.

10. I want to have children more than anything but the thought of going through labour absolutely terrifies me.

Hmm..I guess I'm not as weird as I thought.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Heavens to Betsy..

Hi all..
Okay seriously, I have to find a way to make my life slow down. Somehow, I have ended up on this track that is definitely switched to "high speed" when I am definitely not a "high speed" type of person. Anyone who has ever met me knows that, without a doubt. But still it seems like my days are just whizzing by and I can't seem to locate the "off" switch. I woke up the other day and suddenly realized that we are almost half way through March and I still haven't managed to grasp the fact that it is 2006!! Where is this year going?!

It isn't even as if there has been anything overly exciting and wonderful happening with my life that has been helping the days to fly by. It has really just been a lot of the usual..wake up, go to work, come home from work, eat dinner/veg/do laundry/play around on the computer, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. I mean really...how boring is that?!

Okay, there has been a bit more to it than that but you get the drift. I'm really hoping that a lot of this can be attributed to the fact that January, February and March are truly my three least favourite months of the entire year. It is dark, it is cold and it is dark...obviously I don't deal with that very well and I will be the first to admit that I'm definitely a summer-gal. I guess that is what I get for being a June baby! But really, I'm hoping that now that the days are staying lighter for longer, things will start to slow down a little bit so that I can actually enjoy the summer. Enjoyment is something that has been decidedly lacking this winter for some reason.

Now that isn't to say that in spite of my winter-induced funk, there hasn't been lots of exciting things going on. For example, our friends Kate and Mark are this close to becoming first time parents and I couldn't possibly be more excited for them! This past Sunday was Kate's baby shower and it was a whole lot of fun for all involved (including her, I hope!) They got some really wonderful and completely useful gifts and seeing Kate all glowing and happily pregnant is almost enough to make me want one of my very own! Almost, I say..lol. Anyway, I know that the next little while is going to be a very exciting one for both of them as they welcome their little bundle of joy and am going to enjoy seeing it as I know they will both make amazing parents. I had wanted to get some pictures of Kate's baby shower but of course, I forgot the camera. So when I finally do hunt some down, I will see if I can finally find a way to get them up on here.

Other than that, I am very excited to report that after missing out on the first round of concerts, I have learned my lesson and actually got tickets to go see INXS on May 5th! I know..isn't that exciting!! Okay, I realize that I'm probably one of the only people to really be excited by this but I've been listening to this band (albeit not in their present incarnation) for a LONG time and I'm pretty stoked that I will finally get to see them. I'm going with our friends Matt and Sherri as Adam is going to potentially be in Italy on business that week. Yeah, I said Italy..don't get me started on why I'm not going to potentially be there with him..lol. INXS is my revenge!

Hmm..lets see..what else can I tell you? I'm going to be travelling to visit my sister/brother in law/nephew (I love saying that..lol) in a couple weeks to spend the weekend with them. And while it is only a weekend and I really wish that it was longer, I'm going to make the best of it! It has been far too long since I have seen Spencer and I can't wait to hold him again so my mom is just going to have to get over her baby-hogging tendencies while we are there!! I intend to do a little baby hogging of my very own..and really, I should try to get some pictures of Spencer up here too. Okay, that is 2nd on my to-do list!

Anyway, that is pretty much all for right now. So while the days get longer and summer gets closer, I'm going to make a concentrated effort to slow things down and to enjoy the rest of 2006 as it comes along. With any luck, the summer will be a great one and I'll have lots of good news to report here! Oh yeah, speaking of summer, I was out walking Jasper at lunch today and enjoying this amazing warm spurt of weather we suddenly seem to be having and as I breathed in deeply, I could swear that I could smell spring in the air. It immediately made me think of when my sister and I were young (we are 16 months apart and so basically did everything together) we would be outside after school at the VERY first sign that spring was coming. We would break out the skipping ropes and along with our friends would skip for hours and hours or until there wasn't enough light to see anymore and our moms were calling us to come home. It could have been -5C outside but as long as it still smelled like spring, we were out there.

Man, I really miss those days...maybe I should see if I can buy myself a skipping rope this weekend;) . Cheers!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Alright, alright..I'm back, already!

Hi all..yeah, I know it has been absolute aeons since I have blogged here but I thought that tonight was finally the time to get back into it. Also, there are those (and you know who you are!) who have been dropping some completely non-subtle hints that the time has in fact come and gone several times now!

Wow, has it really been 3 months or so since I last blogged? Yeah, I guess the last time I was here, I was eagerly awaiting the birth of my sister's baby. Well, I'm happy to annouce that she had a beautiful baby boy on November 27th and both mom, dad and baby are doing absolutely fine. They named him Spencer Jonathan, the Jonathan part being presumably as a memorial to my dad, John. I was actually caught a little off guard by the name since my sister had been pretty adamant that the baby wouldn't be named for anyone in particular. But Spencer is a very nice name and having spent time with the wee bundle of joy, it definitely suits him. He is just so beautiful, and although I know that I am biased, I really think he is such a sweetheart.

Adam and I got to spend a week with him, my sister, her husband, my mom and the two dogs at Christmas. And although it didn't pass without it's fair share of drama and a two day stay in the hospital for Adam (thanks to a bout of KFC-inflicted food poisoning), it was a wonderful week. There is nothing that tops the feeling of togetherness that comes from spending time with those you love at Christmas. And knowing that little Spencer would be part of that, and of many Christmases to come, made it even more special.

I have to admit that even now when I think of him, it overwhelms me a bit to think that this little boy is going to grow and be a part of our family for ever. When I looked at him for the first time in person, the thing that hit me with the most force was the fact that he has my dad's eyes. I always knew that the baby, be it a boy or a girl, would bring some part of my dad with him or her into this world. But to see my dad's eyes looking back at me after 7 years of not seeing them..well, it was a bit of an overwhelming moment for me. I just can't wait to see him as he grows and to watch his personality develop as he becomes his own little person. There is so much to look forward to with him and I don't want to miss even a moment of it.

So now that I have gone on and on about that...what else can I tell you? The first part of 2006 has just been rushing by and I can't quite seem to wrap my head around the fact that it is February already. Adam and I have both been busy with work although I am proud to say that I got a much-needed raise in that department. In contrast, Adam and I have been toying around with our vacation plans for this summer as I really want us to be able to get together with my friend Michele (you might remember her from my trip to Vegas last summer) and her husband and 2 girls. Things are still up in the air but I'm hoping that we will be able to arrange something as who knows when we are going to be able to get away on a vacation again in the near future! Plus, I think that Adam and Michele's husband would get along famously and if last year's vacation to Vegas is any indication, this vacation should be a blast!

But in the meantime, the next few days are going to ones that I know will not be easy. You might remember a post that I did last May about my aunt Barb that had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Well, as it turns out, the end came rather sooner than any of us had been prepared for and she passed away yesterday afternoon. I knew she was very sick and I knew that as the cancer spread from her brain to the rest of her body that she wasn't going to get better again. But still...it wasn't even one whole year from when she was diagnosed until the day she died. How does this happen?? How is it possible that a person can be so full of life one moment and then gone the next? Having been through this exact same eternal question and answer debate when my dad died almost 8 years ago now, I know that there really is no answer. But it still doesn't stop the pain that I feel when I think about all that this means to those that I love.

My uncle is devastated and exhausted, having put his whole being and everything he had into taking care of my aunt over the past 9 months. My mom is torn apart too..hurting from the loss of her little sister, so soon after they repaired what both of them had expected to be a permanent tear in their relationship. From where I'm sitting right now, none of it seems very fair but then again, no one ever said that "fair" was what life was about. But I know in my heart she isn't in pain any more and that there are so many people that love her that will take care of her where she is now..my uncle Ronnie, my grandma and my dad just to start. In a way, it makes me wonder who the lucky ones are, after all?

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to think about all of the wonderful memories that I do have of my aunt. I'll think of the night two summers ago when I was visiting my mom and she convinced me to come to the celebration of my Uncle John's 60th birthday party that my aunt had planned. My other aunt and my cousin had come with us that night and as the night progressed, my cousin and I couldn't help but talk about just how alike the three siblings were as they talked, danced and laughed the night away. I remember saying to my cousin Carrie that night that there was no doubt about it, someday she and I would be exactly like the tree of them and at the time, I remember both of us rolling our eyes and laughing. But looking back now on everything that that night held, I can't help but think that we could only be so lucky.

My uncle had asked me to be a pallbearer at the funeral service on Wednesday morning and I have to admit that the request caught me by surprise. When I mentioned this to my mom, she told me that my uncle said that my aunt Barb always thought highly of me..oh, and I came to his birthday party and everything. To me, this means more to me than I can ever say.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Freaky coincidences..

Okay...so I'll be the first to admit that, for whatever reason, strange things always seem to happen to me. For instance, as many of you that know me can attest, it is not possible for me to go out to a restaurant or a fast food place to order something without the order being screwed up. I don't know how it happens or why it happens but it ALWAYS happens. It is something I've learned to deal with. I'm thinking that somewhere, somehow I have managed to offend the Kharma gods and they are exacting their just revenge. Anyway..back to the point.

So yesterday morning, I woke up and as soon as my feet touched the carpet beside my bed there was suddenly a song playing loud and proud in my head. Now this in itself isn't an odd experience, although I am loathe to admit that usually it is something by Barry Manilow, which is also very annoying but so not the point. So, this time the song that was running through my head was none other than "Lost in Emotion" by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. And yeah..I know.."Who??". But all you ladies of the 80's may recognize it and know that it is one of those songs that is just catchy enough to stay lodged in there allllll day.

Yes, I was grooving in my kitchen, regaling my dog with my own person rendition of Lost in Emotion and just going with it because frankly, I do rather like the song even if I haven't heard it in roughly 10 years..lol. And it stayed with me all morning so that I was singing it at my desk too.

But then lunch came and I headed home as I usually do to take Jasper for a walk, which in itself wasn't too eventful. But then it happened...when I jumped in my car to head back to work, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing?? Oh yeah..you guessed it. Lost in Emotion by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Seriously!! What are the chances!

So yeah, that freaked me out a little and one experience like that was MORE than enough but wouldn't you know it, it happened again this morning. No, it was Lost in Emotion on replay. Instead, I was listen to an interview on the radio on my way to work this morning and they were talking to Robert Downey Jr. about his new movie coming out this weekend called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. And as I was listening to him talk about it, I pulled up to a stop light and wouldn't you know it...a big, white moving van drove by with a billboard on the side advertising a movie. What movie, you ask? Yep..Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Honestly.

I think I'm being watched..