Alright, alright..I'm back, already!

Hi all..yeah, I know it has been absolute aeons since I have blogged here but I thought that tonight was finally the time to get back into it. Also, there are those (and you know who you are!) who have been dropping some completely non-subtle hints that the time has in fact come and gone several times now!

Wow, has it really been 3 months or so since I last blogged? Yeah, I guess the last time I was here, I was eagerly awaiting the birth of my sister's baby. Well, I'm happy to annouce that she had a beautiful baby boy on November 27th and both mom, dad and baby are doing absolutely fine. They named him Spencer Jonathan, the Jonathan part being presumably as a memorial to my dad, John. I was actually caught a little off guard by the name since my sister had been pretty adamant that the baby wouldn't be named for anyone in particular. But Spencer is a very nice name and having spent time with the wee bundle of joy, it definitely suits him. He is just so beautiful, and although I know that I am biased, I really think he is such a sweetheart.

Adam and I got to spend a week with him, my sister, her husband, my mom and the two dogs at Christmas. And although it didn't pass without it's fair share of drama and a two day stay in the hospital for Adam (thanks to a bout of KFC-inflicted food poisoning), it was a wonderful week. There is nothing that tops the feeling of togetherness that comes from spending time with those you love at Christmas. And knowing that little Spencer would be part of that, and of many Christmases to come, made it even more special.

I have to admit that even now when I think of him, it overwhelms me a bit to think that this little boy is going to grow and be a part of our family for ever. When I looked at him for the first time in person, the thing that hit me with the most force was the fact that he has my dad's eyes. I always knew that the baby, be it a boy or a girl, would bring some part of my dad with him or her into this world. But to see my dad's eyes looking back at me after 7 years of not seeing them..well, it was a bit of an overwhelming moment for me. I just can't wait to see him as he grows and to watch his personality develop as he becomes his own little person. There is so much to look forward to with him and I don't want to miss even a moment of it.

So now that I have gone on and on about that...what else can I tell you? The first part of 2006 has just been rushing by and I can't quite seem to wrap my head around the fact that it is February already. Adam and I have both been busy with work although I am proud to say that I got a much-needed raise in that department. In contrast, Adam and I have been toying around with our vacation plans for this summer as I really want us to be able to get together with my friend Michele (you might remember her from my trip to Vegas last summer) and her husband and 2 girls. Things are still up in the air but I'm hoping that we will be able to arrange something as who knows when we are going to be able to get away on a vacation again in the near future! Plus, I think that Adam and Michele's husband would get along famously and if last year's vacation to Vegas is any indication, this vacation should be a blast!

But in the meantime, the next few days are going to ones that I know will not be easy. You might remember a post that I did last May about my aunt Barb that had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Well, as it turns out, the end came rather sooner than any of us had been prepared for and she passed away yesterday afternoon. I knew she was very sick and I knew that as the cancer spread from her brain to the rest of her body that she wasn't going to get better again. But still...it wasn't even one whole year from when she was diagnosed until the day she died. How does this happen?? How is it possible that a person can be so full of life one moment and then gone the next? Having been through this exact same eternal question and answer debate when my dad died almost 8 years ago now, I know that there really is no answer. But it still doesn't stop the pain that I feel when I think about all that this means to those that I love.

My uncle is devastated and exhausted, having put his whole being and everything he had into taking care of my aunt over the past 9 months. My mom is torn apart too..hurting from the loss of her little sister, so soon after they repaired what both of them had expected to be a permanent tear in their relationship. From where I'm sitting right now, none of it seems very fair but then again, no one ever said that "fair" was what life was about. But I know in my heart she isn't in pain any more and that there are so many people that love her that will take care of her where she is now..my uncle Ronnie, my grandma and my dad just to start. In a way, it makes me wonder who the lucky ones are, after all?

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to think about all of the wonderful memories that I do have of my aunt. I'll think of the night two summers ago when I was visiting my mom and she convinced me to come to the celebration of my Uncle John's 60th birthday party that my aunt had planned. My other aunt and my cousin had come with us that night and as the night progressed, my cousin and I couldn't help but talk about just how alike the three siblings were as they talked, danced and laughed the night away. I remember saying to my cousin Carrie that night that there was no doubt about it, someday she and I would be exactly like the tree of them and at the time, I remember both of us rolling our eyes and laughing. But looking back now on everything that that night held, I can't help but think that we could only be so lucky.

My uncle had asked me to be a pallbearer at the funeral service on Wednesday morning and I have to admit that the request caught me by surprise. When I mentioned this to my mom, she told me that my uncle said that my aunt Barb always thought highly of me..oh, and I came to his birthday party and everything. To me, this means more to me than I can ever say.