Slainte Mhath

Life with a baby, trip to Vegas and other matters

2008-07-29T18:02:00.002-04:00

What a hectic few months it has been since the last time I posted on here. I'm not sure if anyone really notices but I thought I had better update since I actually have something to say this time! You would think that having a nine month old would give me lots to talk about, wouldn't you? The truth there is that by the time I get around to turning on the computer (usually when he is sleeping), the last thing on my mind is thinking up things to write in my blog. Mostly, I just want to sit and veg out in some mindless way but I'm trying to be more proactive so..here I am!

So what CAN I say about the past 4.5 months since the last time I posted? Well, I can say that is has been hectic and tiring and at times, endless. But I can also say that it has been exciting, amazing and really just so awesome and so much fun. I guess I knew realistically that babies change a lot during the first year but it is hard to get your mind around just how much they change until you really experience it. Somehow, Wil went from this little bundle of arms and legs that just mostly stayed in one place unless I moved him to this little man that can sit up on his own, can stand up with help, loves eating cheese and has a REALLY loud voice! How did that happen in just a few months?? More and more often, I find myself just looking at him and wondering where the past few months have gone and asking myself where I was when all of these changes were happening. The truth there is that life just happens. You get busy doing the daily day-to-day stuff that goes into raising a little one and unless you regularly take the time to step back and look for the changes, they just become a part of your daily life. Of course, that isn't to say that all of the changes have not been momentous...they definitely have...the first smile, the first laugh, the first time he rolled over and the first time he blew a raspberry while I was feeding him peas (yes, really) are all firmly imprinted in my memory. It is just that I am with him all the time so I don't really notice that he is physically changing unless someone points it out to me..which is something that has happened with alarming regularity lately!
A few weeks ago, I had a few people who hadn't seen him in a few months say to me that he didn't even look like the same child from the last time they saw him so I made a point of pulling out the pictures from when he was younger and looking. And you know...they were right! How is it possible for a human being to completely change the way they look in the short span of 4 months?! But more than that, it was a lot of fun for me to look at those pictures from the early days and see just how he has changed physically..no matter what, I think he is absolutely adorable but I might be a bit biased!
It is hard for me to think back to what life was like in the first few months after Wil was born. I think life is crazy now with having to keep up with a little one that wants to move constantly but when I think back, I know it is nothing to the nervousness, uncertainty and almost outright fear of the first few weeks! Of course, every baby is different and so are the experiences but I definitely believe that the newborn stage with be easier with the second one (no, I am NOT pregnant!) when it happens, just for having been through it before. One of my friends just recently had her first and asked me for advice and I found so many things rushing to the surface and so many things that I wanted to tell her. But in the end, I thought it might be better not to terrify her so I kept a lot of it to myself! Plus, there are just some things that you have to learn for yourself and no amount of advice from well meaning friends is going to make a lick of difference. See how wise I am now??!
Anyway, the short story is that life with a baby has been amazing and with the closer I get to going back to work, I'm trying to make every moment count. Of course there are still days when I'm tired and my temper is short but they are fewer and far in between and I just keep reminding myself to enjoy it now because this first year of spending every day with him is not going to last forever. He is an awesome little boy with a great personality and a sense of humour that is developing more every day and I can't wait to see what the next year brings as he passes that one year mark and heads for the terrible (terrific ??) twos!
Okay, I'll stop now and go on to something else!! My lovely husband and I just recently decided that we needed a vacation so we arranged (read: begged) my mom to look after Wil for us for a few days and booked ourselves a trip to Las Vegas! We had been there a few times before but I don't think I had every really appreciated the whole idea of a vacation until I considered just how much I was willing to pay for a few days of being able to sleep in! Vegas seemed like a pretty good choice to me since it was full of adults..lol! I know, my requirements are pretty slim at this point! Anyway, we dropped Wil off at my mom's and stayed until he had fallen asleep under the guise that it would be easier for him if he woke up in the morning to find my mom there to take care of him. In reality, it was probably easier on us to leave him like that and I am proud to say that I didn't sob..there were just a few tears here and there.
Once we had torn ourselves away, we drove through the night to Buffalo and embarked on our journey with an early morning flight. The flight(s) were uneventful (aside from me hurting my knee while stepping off one of the planes on to the tarmac, but that is nothing new to anyone that knows me!) and the weather was wonderfully warm forthe entire time we got there. Okay, it was hot. Damn hot. But Las Vegas is heavily air conditioned so I could deal with it. We stayed at Treasure Island for a couple reasons, the first being that it has a pirate theme and the second being that every review that we read heaped praise on the new beds they have installed during their recent renovation. And lets just say that I can confirm that it was worth every single dollar we spent on the hotel just to have a few days to sleep on that wonderful memory foam mattress. We were so impressed that we are now presently in the market for a memory foam mattress topper for our incredibly uncomfortable plain and regular mattress! Yeah, it was THAT good. There were only a few times that I woke up from a dead sleep in a panic that I had missed a diaper change, bottle feeding or crying baby but I'm happy to report that it didn't take me long to get back to sleep!!
We did a little bit of gambling when we were there but not a whole lot and for the most part, we kept to the penny slots. We saw a couple shows when we were there but for the most part, we just wandered around and took in the sights and sounds...and more than a few margaritas! In short, it was pretty heavenly although I can say that we did spend a lot of time thinking and talking about Wil but from what I understand, that is normal parental behaviour!
There were a few things though that I noticed about people in general that makes me wonder if I've been living under a rock for the past year. Maybe I just haven't travelled a lot lately but I just can't get over how...piggish..people can be! Yes, piggish..there is really no other word for it. Case in point, when it was time for us to finally leave Vegas and return to the regular world, we had an early morning flight so we headed to the airport in plenty of time. We got to the departure lounge and settled into a couple of seats to watch our fellow travellers trickle in and it wasn't long before the rest of the seats were filled too. There was a party of people that were obviously travelling together and they came and sat down near us, which was fine. Well, it was fine until one gentlemen got up, walked over to the nearby garbage can, bent over it and pressed one finger to his right nostril and blew his snot into the garbage can! Then he calmly straightened up and walked back to his seat. Umm..EWW! I was so grossed out that it took me a moment to fully comprehend that he had actually blew his nose candy all over the garbage can but when I took a look around me at my fellow travellers, the looks on their faces made it pretty clear that I hadn't imagined it. And when I had barely recovered from that, something else happened that blew that out of the water (no pun intended). This man (who was coincidentally travelling with the snot man, as I decided to call him), started coughing and then made this horrific noise as he dredged whatever it was that was sitting in his throat up into his mouth. This, of course, got everyone's attention and made sure we were all looking at him and able to witness when he sat up, bent forward and proceeded to spit whatever he had in his mouth onto the carpet in front of his seat. I swear to you now that I nearly fainted dead out. I was soooooooooooo grossed out that I couldn't help the "That's SO disgusting" that involuntarily errupted from my lips. I know the man heard me as I wasn't quiet about it but his only response was to cover the spot with his shoe and smoosh it into the carpet. Like THAT made it better! The woman next to me looked at me and said "Did that man just hawk a loogie onto the carpet?" and all I could do was just nod and I spent the rest of the time sitting there and praying that the karma gods didn't hate me enough to seat me in the same section as that group on the plane. Thankfully, Karma gave me a break and I didn't have to deal with them again. Even now, the thought of it is enough to just gross me out. Needless to say, I won't be placing anything on the floor in front of the seats in a departure lounge again since I know exactly what could be there. Gross, gross, gross. And while I can realistically understand that it could be a cultural difference that led to that behaviour (yes, I'm trying to be polite), I really don't think that it is EVER necessary to do anything that offensive in a public place. Have some respect for your fellow human beings, for crap's sake. Just plain EW.
Anyway, that is really all I have to say at the moment. Vacation was good but it was also good to get back and see how much Wil had changed in the time we were away. It sure made me appreciate all I have here and I think that was the best part of the vacation! Now I'm just hoping that the next vacation comes quickly!!

The first four months of my new life

2008-02-04T16:13:00.002-05:00

Wow, I can hardly believe that it has been so long since the last time I blogged! I had the best of intentions after the dawning of the new year last year but, I guess, life happened and it just didn't turn out the way I expected. I'm sure most of everyone has just about given up on me ever blogging again but I felt the urge today so...here you go!

It is kind of funny to look back on that last post that I wrote at the beginning of 2007 and look at where I am now, here at the beginning of 2008. I thought, at that time, that it would be a big year for me but I had absolutely no way of knowing just how BIG it would be. Actually, I don't think that "big" even really scratches the surface of what 2007 was. Most of the people that read this blog at one time would know that I gave birth to my first child on October 19, 2007 and really, if that isn't big then I'm not sure what is!

Childbirth..hmm..now THAT was an interesting life experience! It wasn't that I didn't want to have a baby because I definitely did. There hasn't really been a time in my life that I didn't think that I would have children and my husband and I had made a decision to start trying at the beginning of 2007 so really, I shouldn't have been THAT shocked to find out at the end of January that I was pregnant. But I was..I was flabbergasted. But I have to say that I really, really enjoyed most of the entire experience of being pregnant and can honestly say that it is something that you can never really understand or appreciate fully until you have experienced it. The experience of childbirth is very much the same way..until you have been through it, you have no idea not only what it takes to get through it, but also just how much it gives back to you. It is almost like being given the membership card to a very exclusive club. I guess that would have to be the "I've pushed a very large object out of a very small hole" club or something like that...hehehe. But really, after I had my son I started to look at other mothers in a different light, knowing that most had been through a similar experience to mine and to this day, I can't help but wonder if they feel the same overwhelming and fierce pride and need to protect that I feel for my son.

But actually, to be honest, I had started looking at mothers in a different light long before the day I gave birth..it really started the day that I found out that I was pregnant. I had had a negative test result already so by the time I retook the test and it came back positive, you could have knocked me over with a feather. And my husband and I had planned on taking a shopping trip to Buffalo on the day we found out and I can honestly say that I spent the entire day wandering around and looking at mothers with their children, wondering just how in the world I was EVER going to be able to do it. And I can say that it only got worse as I got closer to my due date, almost to the point that I wanted to ask women on the street how they managed to keep it together. But now, with my four month old son sleeping in his swing beside me as I type, I realize that you just do it. You learn on your feet. You do your best and know that is all you can do. I think the best piece of advice that I was given was from my friend Kate during one of my many frantic phone calls when she told me not to worry so much because all my baby wanted me to do was to love him and didn't know any better that I didn't know what I was doing. It really has been an incredible experience and even though there have been (and still are) days when I have to ask myself what the hell I was thinking, I just have to look at my son and see him laugh and smile at me to know that it has been worth every sleepless night.

So, in light of that, here are a few things that I have learned about motherhood, and just life in general, over the past few months.

Despite what you may think, when your friends tell you that it gets better, they are telling the truth

You can survive on 40 minutes of sleep in a 48 hour period

Just when you sit down for a few minutes of relaxation, that is when your baby will wake up screaming

When people offer you help, don't be too proud to accept it

Get an epidural

A baby swing may just be the best thing ever invented

Your life will never be the same as it once was but it will be better in many ways

Your baby will eventually start sleeping for longer periods at night but it still won't feel long enough
There will be times when the crying just gets to be too much and when you need to just have a few minutes of time to yourself when you think to yourself that you miss the way your life used to be. This is perfectly normal..it happens to everyone and it does NOT make you a bad mom.
The big milestones of the first few months (first smile, rolling over for the first time, etc..) will always happen way before you are ready for it. It is okay to be happy and sad at the same time that your baby is growing so quickly
The smallest things can be endlessly entertaining to a baby and will be a lifesaver to you and your sanity!
There is absolutely nothing quite like the sound of your baby laughing or the sight of your baby smiling at you

Well, that is all that I have for now although I'm sure I'll come up with more along the way! I hope that I'll be able to be around here more often and give you a bird's eye view as Wil gets older. I've missed you guys!

Happy New Year...here's to a fresh start!

2007-01-05T16:41:00.000-05:00

Well Christmas has come and gone and once again, we are thrust into the not so cold and barren landscape that is January. Hmm..that sounded rather pessimistic, didn't it? Well, okay then, let's try that again. Christmas was good this year and I was lucky to be able to spend the week between Christmas and New Years all safe and happy at my mom's house surrounded by my husband, my mom, my sister and brother in law and my wonderful one year old nephew. So yes, it was a very good Christmas and I loved being there with them and just enjoying the time we can spend together because it doesn't happen enough.

But inevitably, the time passed far more quickly than I had hoped for and all of a sudden, we were all heading back to our respective corners of our lives and I guess I'm suffering from withdrawal. I miss my family and I miss that warm feeling of being around the people that I love and knowing that they will always love me no matter what I do with my life. I guess that warm and fuzzy feeling is one of the reasons that I look forward to Christmas so much every year and I know that next year will be no different. It will only be better.

So now here I am at the beginning of a new year and although I have tried to stay away from the whole "New Year Resolution" thing, I know a few of them have snuck in there somewhere. I intend to keep on with this whole weight loss thing that I've got going and have made a renewed committment to trying to become inspired again to do it. That is the big one for me, and rightly so, since I know that the next year of my life is going to most likely hold a whole lot in the way of big changes. So I need to focus on myself and getting myself to where I need to be, both emotionally and physically...that is my gift to myself.

Other than that, I'm trying REALLY hard to change my outlook and the way I think about a few different aspects of my life. I know that isn't really giving much in the way of information but let's just say that the last part of 2006 wasn't an easy time for me emotionally in a lot of ways and I lost perspective on a few things in particular. I need to get that perspective back again and start remembering that my life is a pretty awesome place to be. I need to stop dwelling so much on the past and instead, focus on the things in my life that I have some influence over. I have more than enough to be thankful for and sometimes I just need a knock on the head to remember that.

The one thing that I do know is that as I stand here at the beginning of a new year, there is a lot in store for not only myself, but the people in my life. There are so many things that I'm looking forward to, least of which is the arrival of two very special bundles of joy by way of two very special people. And in there somewhere are the plans that we are making for a vacation with my husband and two of our very good friends. Yeah, I know it will be a great year, no matter what.

So this is me saying "Welcome 2007" and all that comes along with it, good and bad. After all, it is our experiences that make us the people that we become. And heaven knows we could all use a bit more experience..heehee.

Oh, and just because I can, I stole this from Aimee at Aimee Thinks. I thought this might shed a bit more light on what makes me the person I am. Thanks Aimee!

ARE YOU:
1. A Cuddler? Oh yeah...it is one of my favourite things to do. I just love that personal contact.
2.A morning person? Definitely not..I love a good morning of sleeping in.
3. Are you a perfectionist? It depends. There are certain parts in my life that I demand perfection of myself and others but as a rule, I would say not really.
4. An only child? No. I have an older sister named Tammy.
5. Catholic? Yes, although not practicing at this point.
6. In your pajamas? Not yet!
7. Currently suffering from a broken heart? There are several forms of a broken heart so...yes.
8. Okay styling other people's hair? Yes, definitely. Even now, I can honestly say I should have been a hair stylist. That was my first instinct!
9. Left handed? Kind of...is that possible? I am mostly right handed but I can do most things with my left hand, just not as well.
10. Addicted to MySpace? No, I have resisted.
11. Shy around the opposite gender? No. I've never been shy around the male population, which I am proud of. Albeit, it has led to problems along the way but I'd rather that than being shy.
12. Loud? It has been known to happen.

DO YOU:
13. Bite your nails? Not any more! I stopped cold turkey in 2006 after biting them all my life.
14. Get paranoid at times? No. I worry more than I suffer from paranoia. I worry about everything.
15. Currently regret something that you have said/done? No. I don't regret it..just worry about it.
16. Curse frequently when you get mad? Only when I'm in the car and driving by myself. Then I curse like a sailor!
17. Enjoy country music? Yes. I have my parents to thank for that!
18. Enjoy jazz music? Every so often. I enjoy "lounge music" (as my husband calls it) more.
19. Enjoy smoothies? Oh yes.
20. Enjoy talking on the phone? I love talking on the phone..always have. My best friend lives far away and we have been known to talk for as many as 8 hours in one sitting.
21. Have a lot to learn? Yes, of course. Every day is a learning experience
22. Have a pet? Yes, a beagle named Jasper.
23. Have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person? I fell for several "wrong persons" before finally falling for the right one, my husband.
24. Have all your grandparents died? Yes, unfortunately. Lets see if I can remember: 1976, 1992, 1993, 1994.
25. Have at least one sibling? Yes, one older sister named Tammy.
26. Have been told that you are smart? Once or twice along the way.
27. Have had a broken bone? Yes, my tailbone. Does that count if you can't put it in a cast? In typical fashion, I fell down a clay hill in the rain on my first day of college.
28. Have Caller I.D. on your phone? No. There is just something fun about not knowing who might be on the other end. For those few seconds, the possibilities are endless!

HAVE YOU:
29. Changed a diaper? Yes, although not for a while.
30. Changed a lot over the past year? Ohysically, maybe not a lot but definitely some. Mentally, no. Emotionally, yes.
31. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color? Yes
32. Had surgery? Not major surgery, no. And even the minor stuff was years ago.
33. Killed anyone? Not yet.
34. Had your haircut within the last week? No.

LAST PERSON WHO:
35. Slept in the bed beside you? My husband Adam.
36. Saw you cry? My husband Adam, two nights ago.
37. Went to the movies with you? My husband Adam while indulging my Orlando Bloom obsession.
38. You went to the mall with? Adam..is this getting repetitive?!
39. You went to dinner with?Um...yep, you guessed it...Adam. We apparently do a lot together.
40. You talked to on the phone? Adam..just a couple minutes ago.
41. Said 'I love you' to you and meant it? Adam..on the phone a couple minutes ago!
42. Broke your heart? There is someone although they shall remain nameless. I'm as much to blame as them but it doesn't make it hurt any less and my heart breaks all over again just to think about it.
43. Made you laugh? Adam..he always make me laugh and knows exactly how to do it and when I need it most.

WOULD YOU RATHER?
44. Pierce your nose or tongue? Definitely nose. I always wanted to when I was younger until my dad chased me around the living room with a darning needle. That cured that.
45. Be serious or be funny? Funny. I've always been told that I'm funny and I love being that way. Life would be a lot better if there were more funny people in this world.
46. Drink whole or skim milk? I'm a 1% fan but if I had to choose, I'd err on the skim milk side of things.
47. Die in a fire or drown? Either one sounds pretty horrific. I guess though that burning would be worse..I have a fear of this happening. Hopefully drowning would be less painful and quicker.
48. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Definitely my mom. She is one of my best friends and I love her completely.

ABOUT YOU!
49. What time is it? 5:39..on a Friday, no less! I'm going home.
50. Name? Heather
51. Nickname(s)? Head, Headder, Missy, Precious (don't ask!)
52. Where were you born? Walkerton, Ontario
53. What is your birthdate? June 5th
54. What do you want? To be happy..to be healthy..to be skinny(ier)..to be content..to have children..for daylight savings time to start..and on and on and on..
55. Where do you want to live? At one time it was Price Edward Island...lately it has been Oregon...in reality, I'd be most happy whever I could be surrounded by my family and loved ones.
56. How many kids do you want? I've always only ever wanted two.

Easing back in and being tagged by Brianne

2006-11-06T16:34:00.000-05:00

So how does one ease back in to blogging after being away from it for the better part of a year? Why by responding to a tagging that the wonderful Brianne gave me WAYYYYYYYYY back at the end of October. Yeah, I'm a little on the slow side. People that know me should not be surprised.

Anyway, here we go..

Ten Weird Things About Me

1. I still can not sleep with my arms/legs hanging over the edge of the bed at night for fear that something/someone will get me. Definitely irrational

2. When I address people, I like to sing their names.

3. I have an ongoing fictional story that I have developed in my head and whenever I'm doing something that requires me to wait (standing in a line somewhere, waiting for my car to get an oil change, etc) I add to it.

4. One day a couple months ago, at the age of 31, I suddenly decided to stop biting my nails. I've been biting them for as long as I can remember but since that day, I haven't slipped once.

5. I give names to everything and enjoy having conversations with inanimate objects.

6. I am the world's worst procrastinator and function best in what most people would call disorganized chaos.

7. The sight of earwhigs makes me feel physically ill.

8. I flutter my eyelashes ALOT.

9. When I was little, a wooden door fell over and hit me on the head. I still have a "soft spot" where it hit.

10. I want to have children more than anything but the thought of going through labour absolutely terrifies me.

Hmm..I guess I'm not as weird as I thought.

Heavens to Betsy..

2006-03-09T23:41:00.000-05:00

Hi all..
Okay seriously, I have to find a way to make my life slow down. Somehow, I have ended up on this track that is definitely switched to "high speed" when I am definitely not a "high speed" type of person. Anyone who has ever met me knows that, without a doubt. But still it seems like my days are just whizzing by and I can't seem to locate the "off" switch. I woke up the other day and suddenly realized that we are almost half way through March and I still haven't managed to grasp the fact that it is 2006!! Where is this year going?!

It isn't even as if there has been anything overly exciting and wonderful happening with my life that has been helping the days to fly by. It has really just been a lot of the usual..wake up, go to work, come home from work, eat dinner/veg/do laundry/play around on the computer, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. I mean really...how boring is that?!

Okay, there has been a bit more to it than that but you get the drift. I'm really hoping that a lot of this can be attributed to the fact that January, February and March are truly my three least favourite months of the entire year. It is dark, it is cold and it is dark...obviously I don't deal with that very well and I will be the first to admit that I'm definitely a summer-gal. I guess that is what I get for being a June baby! But really, I'm hoping that now that the days are staying lighter for longer, things will start to slow down a little bit so that I can actually enjoy the summer. Enjoyment is something that has been decidedly lacking this winter for some reason.

Now that isn't to say that in spite of my winter-induced funk, there hasn't been lots of exciting things going on. For example, our friends Kate and Mark are this close to becoming first time parents and I couldn't possibly be more excited for them! This past Sunday was Kate's baby shower and it was a whole lot of fun for all involved (including her, I hope!) They got some really wonderful and completely useful gifts and seeing Kate all glowing and happily pregnant is almost enough to make me want one of my very own! Almost, I say..lol. Anyway, I know that the next little while is going to be a very exciting one for both of them as they welcome their little bundle of joy and am going to enjoy seeing it as I know they will both make amazing parents. I had wanted to get some pictures of Kate's baby shower but of course, I forgot the camera. So when I finally do hunt some down, I will see if I can finally find a way to get them up on here.

Other than that, I am very excited to report that after missing out on the first round of concerts, I have learned my lesson and actually got tickets to go see INXS on May 5th! I know..isn't that exciting!! Okay, I realize that I'm probably one of the only people to really be excited by this but I've been listening to this band (albeit not in their present incarnation) for a LONG time and I'm pretty stoked that I will finally get to see them. I'm going with our friends Matt and Sherri as Adam is going to potentially be in Italy on business that week. Yeah, I said Italy..don't get me started on why I'm not going to potentially be there with him..lol. INXS is my revenge!

Hmm..lets see..what else can I tell you? I'm going to be travelling to visit my sister/brother in law/nephew (I love saying that..lol) in a couple weeks to spend the weekend with them. And while it is only a weekend and I really wish that it was longer, I'm going to make the best of it! It has been far too long since I have seen Spencer and I can't wait to hold him again so my mom is just going to have to get over her baby-hogging tendencies while we are there!! I intend to do a little baby hogging of my very own..and really, I should try to get some pictures of Spencer up here too. Okay, that is 2nd on my to-do list!

Anyway, that is pretty much all for right now. So while the days get longer and summer gets closer, I'm going to make a concentrated effort to slow things down and to enjoy the rest of 2006 as it comes along. With any luck, the summer will be a great one and I'll have lots of good news to report here! Oh yeah, speaking of summer, I was out walking Jasper at lunch today and enjoying this amazing warm spurt of weather we suddenly seem to be having and as I breathed in deeply, I could swear that I could smell spring in the air. It immediately made me think of when my sister and I were young (we are 16 months apart and so basically did everything together) we would be outside after school at the VERY first sign that spring was coming. We would break out the skipping ropes and along with our friends would skip for hours and hours or until there wasn't enough light to see anymore and our moms were calling us to come home. It could have been -5C outside but as long as it still smelled like spring, we were out there.

Man, I really miss those days...maybe I should see if I can buy myself a skipping rope this weekend;) . Cheers!

Alright, alright..I'm back, already!

2006-02-13T00:45:00.000-05:00

Hi all..yeah, I know it has been absolute aeons since I have blogged here but I thought that tonight was finally the time to get back into it. Also, there are those (and you know who you are!) who have been dropping some completely non-subtle hints that the time has in fact come and gone several times now!

Wow, has it really been 3 months or so since I last blogged? Yeah, I guess the last time I was here, I was eagerly awaiting the birth of my sister's baby. Well, I'm happy to annouce that she had a beautiful baby boy on November 27th and both mom, dad and baby are doing absolutely fine. They named him Spencer Jonathan, the Jonathan part being presumably as a memorial to my dad, John. I was actually caught a little off guard by the name since my sister had been pretty adamant that the baby wouldn't be named for anyone in particular. But Spencer is a very nice name and having spent time with the wee bundle of joy, it definitely suits him. He is just so beautiful, and although I know that I am biased, I really think he is such a sweetheart.

Adam and I got to spend a week with him, my sister, her husband, my mom and the two dogs at Christmas. And although it didn't pass without it's fair share of drama and a two day stay in the hospital for Adam (thanks to a bout of KFC-inflicted food poisoning), it was a wonderful week. There is nothing that tops the feeling of togetherness that comes from spending time with those you love at Christmas. And knowing that little Spencer would be part of that, and of many Christmases to come, made it even more special.

I have to admit that even now when I think of him, it overwhelms me a bit to think that this little boy is going to grow and be a part of our family for ever. When I looked at him for the first time in person, the thing that hit me with the most force was the fact that he has my dad's eyes. I always knew that the baby, be it a boy or a girl, would bring some part of my dad with him or her into this world. But to see my dad's eyes looking back at me after 7 years of not seeing them..well, it was a bit of an overwhelming moment for me. I just can't wait to see him as he grows and to watch his personality develop as he becomes his own little person. There is so much to look forward to with him and I don't want to miss even a moment of it.

So now that I have gone on and on about that...what else can I tell you? The first part of 2006 has just been rushing by and I can't quite seem to wrap my head around the fact that it is February already. Adam and I have both been busy with work although I am proud to say that I got a much-needed raise in that department. In contrast, Adam and I have been toying around with our vacation plans for this summer as I really want us to be able to get together with my friend Michele (you might remember her from my trip to Vegas last summer) and her husband and 2 girls. Things are still up in the air but I'm hoping that we will be able to arrange something as who knows when we are going to be able to get away on a vacation again in the near future! Plus, I think that Adam and Michele's husband would get along famously and if last year's vacation to Vegas is any indication, this vacation should be a blast!

But in the meantime, the next few days are going to ones that I know will not be easy. You might remember a post that I did last May about my aunt Barb that had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Well, as it turns out, the end came rather sooner than any of us had been prepared for and she passed away yesterday afternoon. I knew she was very sick and I knew that as the cancer spread from her brain to the rest of her body that she wasn't going to get better again. But still...it wasn't even one whole year from when she was diagnosed until the day she died. How does this happen?? How is it possible that a person can be so full of life one moment and then gone the next? Having been through this exact same eternal question and answer debate when my dad died almost 8 years ago now, I know that there really is no answer. But it still doesn't stop the pain that I feel when I think about all that this means to those that I love.

My uncle is devastated and exhausted, having put his whole being and everything he had into taking care of my aunt over the past 9 months. My mom is torn apart too..hurting from the loss of her little sister, so soon after they repaired what both of them had expected to be a permanent tear in their relationship. From where I'm sitting right now, none of it seems very fair but then again, no one ever said that "fair" was what life was about. But I know in my heart she isn't in pain any more and that there are so many people that love her that will take care of her where she is now..my uncle Ronnie, my grandma and my dad just to start. In a way, it makes me wonder who the lucky ones are, after all?

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to think about all of the wonderful memories that I do have of my aunt. I'll think of the night two summers ago when I was visiting my mom and she convinced me to come to the celebration of my Uncle John's 60th birthday party that my aunt had planned. My other aunt and my cousin had come with us that night and as the night progressed, my cousin and I couldn't help but talk about just how alike the three siblings were as they talked, danced and laughed the night away. I remember saying to my cousin Carrie that night that there was no doubt about it, someday she and I would be exactly like the tree of them and at the time, I remember both of us rolling our eyes and laughing. But looking back now on everything that that night held, I can't help but think that we could only be so lucky.

My uncle had asked me to be a pallbearer at the funeral service on Wednesday morning and I have to admit that the request caught me by surprise. When I mentioned this to my mom, she told me that my uncle said that my aunt Barb always thought highly of me..oh, and I came to his birthday party and everything. To me, this means more to me than I can ever say.

Freaky coincidences..

2005-11-11T10:42:00.000-05:00

Okay...so I'll be the first to admit that, for whatever reason, strange things always seem to happen to me. For instance, as many of you that know me can attest, it is not possible for me to go out to a restaurant or a fast food place to order something without the order being screwed up. I don't know how it happens or why it happens but it ALWAYS happens. It is something I've learned to deal with. I'm thinking that somewhere, somehow I have managed to offend the Kharma gods and they are exacting their just revenge. Anyway..back to the point.

So yesterday morning, I woke up and as soon as my feet touched the carpet beside my bed there was suddenly a song playing loud and proud in my head. Now this in itself isn't an odd experience, although I am loathe to admit that usually it is something by Barry Manilow, which is also very annoying but so not the point. So, this time the song that was running through my head was none other than "Lost in Emotion" by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. And yeah..I know.."Who??". But all you ladies of the 80's may recognize it and know that it is one of those songs that is just catchy enough to stay lodged in there allllll day.

Yes, I was grooving in my kitchen, regaling my dog with my own person rendition of Lost in Emotion and just going with it because frankly, I do rather like the song even if I haven't heard it in roughly 10 years..lol. And it stayed with me all morning so that I was singing it at my desk too.

But then lunch came and I headed home as I usually do to take Jasper for a walk, which in itself wasn't too eventful. But then it happened...when I jumped in my car to head back to work, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing?? Oh yeah..you guessed it. Lost in Emotion by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Seriously!! What are the chances!

So yeah, that freaked me out a little and one experience like that was MORE than enough but wouldn't you know it, it happened again this morning. No, it was Lost in Emotion on replay. Instead, I was listen to an interview on the radio on my way to work this morning and they were talking to Robert Downey Jr. about his new movie coming out this weekend called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. And as I was listening to him talk about it, I pulled up to a stop light and wouldn't you know it...a big, white moving van drove by with a billboard on the side advertising a movie. What movie, you ask? Yep..Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Honestly.

I think I'm being watched..

Catching up..

2005-11-10T23:23:00.000-05:00

Hi all! So, once again it has been a while but at least this time I have a valid excuse. The past little while has been just so chaotically busy and for whatever reason, I just never seemed to have the time or the inclination to turn on the computer at night, let alone make my way to the blogging world.

Now that isn't to say that I haven't been keeping up with reading the blogs that I do. I have at least managed that so I know what has been going on. But let's see..what can I tell you about what has been keeping me so busy?

Well, first and foremost has probably been work. To put it bluntly, it has been a little on the insane side. Now I now that in the industry that I'm in, November (and the months leading up to it) is/are ALWAYS a busy time but this was just crazy. I know I was around at the company that I work for at this time last year but I had just started in my present position then and I *clearly* didn't have any sort of appreciation for what my co-worker was going through at the time.

But thankfully, things have started to calm down a little bit there as well, although not completely. I don't think it will ever calm down completely because...well...let's just say that it is just the nature of the industry but it keeps me employed and I can't complain about that. Of course, we are dealing with a few interesting personnel shifts at work that will definitely make the next little while an interesting time. But I think they are all for the best, even if it doesn't exactly involve me in any way and I wish everyone good luck.

So..what else? Well one of the biggest things that is consuming much of my thought processes of late is the imminent arrival of a very special package. To be more specific, my sister is pregnant is and is literally due in exactly eight days!! I know...it is soooooo exciting! This is the first child for my sister Tammy and her husband Jay and I couldn't possibly be happier for them. And for whatever reason, I just can't seem to be able to wrap my head around the fact that in just over one week (or so-ish), our family is going to have a brand new member! It is just so surreal but also just so very cool.

This will be the first granchild for my mom and I know in my heart that if my dad were still alive, he would be absolutely over the moon about it all. And deep inside, I really feel that somehow when this baby is born, he or she will bring a part of my dad with them into this world. He is watching over us all and I know, without a doubt that he is proud of you, Tam...just as we all are. One more week. I just can hardly wait.

I would say that those are the two most important things that are going on in my life right now and in the interests of keeping this post on the short-ish side, maybe I should leave it at that. Actually, I do have to talk about one more thing that has been happening. I took a day off this past week to go to the hospital with Adam (my husband) for some tests for him. He has been having abdomenal pains for the better part of six months now and no one in the medical professions seems to be able to figure out what is causing them. So yes, I have obviously been pretty concerned over exactly what is going on with him but, as most of us, I really haven't given a lot of thought to what would happen if we were to receive a "worst case scenario" diagnosis. I think it is just hard for anyone to really think like that..to be that paranoid.

But then something happened today that really made me stop and take stock of what is going on in my life and just how lucky I am. Adam called me from work this morning and I knew immediately from the sound of his voice that there was something wrong. And I was right. As it turns out, one of the guys that he works with was killed in a car accident on the way to work this morning. Just like that...that was it. I can't even begin to explain just how that stopped me in my tracks. I mean, he was young with a wife and a 5 month old baby...how can something like this happen? But I know it can happen..I've had first hand experience with that when my dad died at 49. But even then, 49 is no where near mid thirties and it just isn't right. Not at all. And it made me start to think about all that Adam is going through with his pains and his testing right now and just how lost I would be without him. As sad as it is, when something like this happens it really makes you stop for a moment or two and take stock of all the good things you have in your life and makes you appreciative of all we are so scared to lose.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Ian's family even though it is highly unlikely that they will ever read this. I hope that somewhere, they can find the comfort and strength they will undoubtedly need.

Take care everyone..

Friends forever and a day...

2005-10-17T22:53:00.000-04:00

I'm in a bit of a reminiscent mood tonight, I'm afraid. And as is the case most of the time when I'm in this sort of mood, I'm looking back with a smile. Actually, the thing that brought on my mood tonight was that I heard a song...and not just any song but one by Bon Jovi that I hadn't heard in quite a while. It goes something like this:

Blood on Blood

I can still remember
When I was just a kid
When friends were friends forever
And what you said was what you did

Well, it was me and Danny and Bobby
We cut each other's hands
And held tight to a promise
Only brothers understand

But we were so young (so young)
One for all and all for one (for one)
Just as sure as the river's gonna run

Chorus:
Blood on blood
One on one
We'd still be standing
When all was said and done
Blood on blood
One on one
And I be there for you
Till Kingdom come
Blood on Blood

Well Bobby was our hero
'Cause he had this fake ID
When I got busted stealing cigarettes
Bobby took the wrap for me

Danny knew this white trash girl
We each threw in a ten
She took us to this cheap motel
And turned us into men

Chorus

Now Bobby, he's an uptown lawyer
And Danny, he's a medicine man
And me, I'm just the singer
In a long haired rock n'roll band

Through the years and miles between us
It's been a long and lonely ride
But if I got that call in the dead of the night
I'd be right by your side

Blood on blood...blood on blood

Well, I'm sure that you get the picture. For me, there are so many songs that have the ability to take me back to a particular place and time...and without fail, this is one of those songs. I had forgotten, until I heard it again, just how much I love this song and by the time the first chorus was playing, I had flown back in my memories a good 16 years to a time when things were so much simplier and to when I was best friends with a girl named Christie. For this..and for so many reasons, this song (and most other Bon Jovi songs) will forever remind me of her and never fail to make me smile.

Christie...god, it is hard to even know where to start. We met when we were really, really young..I was 10 and she was right behind me at 9...and honestly, what does anyone really know at that age?? We were born a year and 4 days apart and I can say that for the first year that we knew each other, we hated each other. Neither of us could ever say in the following years just what it was that caused the dislike but it disappeared eventually and in it's wake, an incredible friendship blossomed that exists to this day.

The only way to explain it would be to say that Christie and I were alike in all of the ways it is important to be alike at that age. Thrown together at first by circumstance, with both of our families having a summer trailer at a trailerpark on the shores of Lake Huron, we soon found ourselves attached at the hip. And this bond that started that summer only grew stronger when we realised that we lived only 10 minutes apart for the rest of the year. Of course, at that age, a 10 minute drive might as well be six hours but we more than made up for being separated by phone calls and letters...all the things that young girls did back before the age of email and public transit in small Mid-Western Ontario towns.

And Christie and I grew up together. We went through so many things and slowly developed into our own personalities but all the while we knew that the other was right there..going through the very same things right by each other's side. I was there for her the night she got drunk for the first time on her dad's whisky at a school dance and she was there for me through the infamous "Wayne" years, the first guy I ever fell hard for. I was sitting there at her side the night her uncle died of AIDS..long before we knew what AIDS stood for, let alone what it was. And years later, she was right by my side the night my dad passed away from a heartattack. To put it plainly...a friendship like that can't be bought.

But with Christie and I, there was always much more laughter then tears and we were so much alike that at times it could be downright scary. We thought and acted the same and more than anything, we lived to make each other laugh. We shared the same interest in music and while she wanted to be a record producer, it was with Christie that I first realized that I wanted to be a writer some day. We were patient with each other when things got bumpy as they always did in the lives of two teenage girls and even through we grew apart and close again through the years, there has never been a time that I have doubted that if we needed each other, we would both be right there.

She never did go on to become a world famous music producer, and as for me, well, I'm still working on the writing thing. But I can tell you that she morphed into one hell of a photographer and a wonderful mom to two absolutely beautiful little boys. And I can happily brag that I was with her when she bought her very first camera at the age of 13 on our very first big-girl vacation (read: no parents!) at my Aunt's in Orillia. And to this day when we see each other, which certainly isn't as often as it should be, we always find ourselves saying that we hope our children somehow find the same kind of friend to share their lives as we found in each other.

One can only hope.

OMG...I was right!

2005-09-21T10:09:00.000-04:00

I couldn't seem to get online with the blogger world last night to post this but I just wanted to get in a short one today anyway to say....YAY! JD ROCKS!

For those of you that know me, you may be aware that I have been no less than obsessed this summer with the show that is Rockstar: INXS. I've blogged about it a couple times but thought that since I am trying to keep my weirdness quotient at a reasonably socially acceptable level, that I shouldn't mention it all that often.

Well, over the past few weeks the competition had been slimmed down until only three remained: Marty, MiG and JD. And last night was the finale..the night when the remaining members of INXS would announce their choice of who "would be right for our band, INXS".

So there I was, waiting impatiently throughout the entire hour, spending each annoying long commercial break reasoning with myself and Adam that it would be completely 0kay if JD didn't win because he has come so far blah blah blah. Of course that would all change as soon as the show would come back on and I would be thinking that JD *has* to win!

And you know what? He did! Yup, Oakville/New Glasgow boy makes good and I just couldn't be happier! My coworkers made fun of my perma-grin when I came into the office this morning but I don't care...this is good stuff!

But alas, last night marked the end of the summer-long INXS journey so now I can go back to just being plain wierd..lol. As my ever-tolerant husband Adam says, now I'll have to go in search of something else to obsess over for the next few months. Oh wait, tonight is the season premiere of Lost, isn't it? Ahhh..my next victim..;)

Ouch! I've been tagged...!

2005-09-08T18:26:00.000-04:00

Hi y'all...well, it seems like I've been tagged by the effervescent Brianne to come up with these lists of seven things, so here I am! Personally, I love doing things like this but actually, I love finding out quirkly things about others even more! So sit back and prepare to be...well, possibly weirded out. But at least remember that I had a good time doing this..lol.

Here we go...

7 Things You Plan To Do Before You Die

1. Take a month long (or longer) trip to New Zealand and spend the time backpacking around the country side. I'll spend one whole day just sitting underneath the Party Tree.
2. Lose a significant amount of weight and become a skinny girl
3. Have at least two kids
4. Write a romance novel and have it published
5. Sing a duet with Kenny Rogers (although, that might be a thing to do before HE dies..lol)
6. Move to Prince Edward Island and live in a cottage by the sea surrounded by wheat fields
7. Get to know my sister better and become as close to her as we were when we were kids

7 Things You Can't Do

1. Whistle
2. Cook a decent meal that doesn't involve pasta
3. Speak a foreign language with any degree of fluidity
4. Play the guitar
5. Look at criticism constructively
6. Clean nearly as well as my mom
7. Draw anything other than stick people and hearts with arrows

7 Things You Can Do

1. Sing reasonably well
2. Make people laugh
3. Type wicked fast
4. Write stories
5. Travel to another country all by my onesies
6. Recite each of the three LOTR movies while I am watching them, word for word
7. Speak pig latin

7 Things That Attract You To The Opposite Sex

1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. Hands
4. Voice
5. Dry sense of humour to match my own
6. Tolerence/Compassion
7. Good hair

7 Thing You Say The Most

1. T'is
2. Shut UP!
3. Totally
4. Built like a brick shithouse
5. "I'm nothing if not..."
6. Owly as a bear
7. "Get your head out of your ass"

7 Celebrity Crushes

1. Orlando Bloom (this used to be so easy but I struggled after number one!)
2. Orlan..I mean...er...okay...um...Nicolas Cage
3. Garrett Hedlund
4. Doug Gilmour
5. Michael Hutchence (okay, he is dead and that is kinda morbid but he was very hot so this is in the past tense)
6. Kevin Dillon
7. Viggo Mortensen

7 People I Want To Take This Quiz

1. Tracy
2. Linda
3. Teresa
4. Kim
5. Kate
6. Mark
7. Kristine

I'm Addic...ted..

2005-08-31T00:16:00.000-04:00

Okay really...this show has got to stop. It is beginning to take over my life! lol Yes, as I'm sure some of you know, I'm STILL watching Rockstar:INXS and still loving it..in fact, I watched it tonight. And last night for the mansion show. Oh, and Sunday night for the repeat of last weeks three shows all in a row. See how this is so clearly getting out of hand??!

But yeah, it was on tonight so at 10 p.m., there I was sitting eagerly in front of my TV waiting for the show to start, crossing my fingers that JD would find a way to put a positive spin on his boneheaded performance on the mansion show last night. And you know what? He did...HE ROCKED! Suspicious Minds by Elvis is one of my alltime favourite songs anyway and I even got into the remake done by Dwight Yoakham a number of years ago so I can honestly say that he did it justice. And maaaaannnn, does that boy have some sorta stage presence!! Ai ai ai! So I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that he can pull it through tomorrow night and somehow stay OUT of the bottom three again this week. I'm thinking it is doubtful as most of the other performances were stellar but there is always hope..;)

But as I was waiting tonight to greedily feed my addiction, I got thinking about the other tv shows that are coming up that I'm excited about. And of course, the first that popped into my head was "Lost" because I LOVE that show! But then I got to thinking about it a little bit more...the season premiere of Lost is on September 21st and with the luck that I have, the INXS finale will also be that very night. Isn't that going to be a bit of a conundrum! I just may have to dust off the VCR for this one, folks..lol.

Anyway, that is pretty much all that is going on with me right now. Oh, before I forget, when I got in here tonight, I thought I would just check to see if my last blog had received any more comments than the ones that were there from the lovely Linda and Tracy. And low and behold, there was another one there! So I just wanted to give a shout out to Tree and say how fun it was to see your comment there. And yes, see? I'm blogging again!! LOL

Well thats all from here. Take care and remember..JD ROCKS!

INXS in excess and other strange tales

2005-08-20T23:01:00.000-04:00

Hi all, how are we doing out there in blogger land? Good..glad to hear it.

So yeah, once again it has been longer than intended since updating this thing but I found myself online tonight and thought that I would give it a go. The month of August has been a pretty crazy one and I've found myself more than once wondering just exactly where the days have gone. Finally the hot weather has broken but now that it has, I can't help but get the distinct feeling that summer is drawing to a close. I'm not sure if it is actually that the days are getting cooler/shorter or just the fact that the approach of the beginning of September has always signalled an ending of sorts and time to get back to business. Either way, I am definitely intending to take more vacation next summer so that I can actually enjoy it!

Lets see..what else. Well last Sunday marked Adam and my 6th wedding anniversary so that was a lot of fun. I think I spent the entire weekend wondering just exactly how it could be that 6 years have passed since the day we got married and we talked a lot about the things that we had been doing at that time six years ago. Truthfully, the days leading up to the wedding and the day of the actual wedding were mostly a blur but these are the things that I remember the most:

Waking up the morning of the wedding *really* early and laying in bed wondering why exactly I was awake already. Of course then it hit me and I don't think my feet touched the ground for the rest of the day
Going up to the cemetary to put flowers on my dad's grave right after waking up and wishing, more than anything, that he could have been there to share that day with me
Sitting in the kitchen at my mom's house with my bridesmaids after getting home from the hairstylists, having sandwiches and just talking. Finally someone asked me if I shouldn't be getting dressed and I realized then and there that (holy hell) holy hell, I was getting married!!
Getting a bee stuck in my veil as I was standing outside the doors of the church, just minutes before walking down the aisle
Standing at the foot of the aisle with my dad's best friend who was standing in place for my dad and walking me down the aisle. As we stood and waited for the doors to be opened, he turned to me and asked me if I was ready and for a moment I panicked. But then the doors opened and I saw Adam standing at the other end of the looooong aisle and I realised that I finally was ready.
Returning to my mom's house after the reception to change out of my wedding dress and sitting on my bed in the room that has always been mine. Looking around, I was suddenly overwhelmed with everything and my mom found me there crying and she dried my tears while helping me to brush out my hair. It made me realize that some things never change.

Hmm..apparently I remember more than I thought. Regardless, our anniversary was a wonderful day and it contained a few revelations of it's own. We went to Niagara Falls for dinner and as I was sitting and waiting for him to come back from the restroom, I noticed another couple that was sitting at a table nearby. They were a bit older, most likely in their late 40's, and as I sat there and watched them (because I'm a people watcher, like my dad) I realized that they weren't talking to each other. And the more I watched them, the more I came to understand that it didn't appear to be because they were angry at each other...they just weren't talking. They were looking around at the restaurant, reading the little placards that sit on the table, looking at the dessert menu..everything but talking to each other. And for some reason that struck me as being indescribably sad. I looked up and at that moment Adam came around the corner and smiled at me and I think I fell in love with him all over again right there. Mushy and sentimental, I know. But I also know that I never want to get to the point where we have nothing to say to each other.

But really, it was a wonderful day and not a day goes by that I don't thank the Valar or whatever powers may be that Adam is such an important part of my life. Neither of us is perfect but I like to think that together, we come that much closer and I love him with all my heart. And yes, I'll stop now..;)

You might be wondering at little at the title of my blog so I guess I should just come out and admit it. After all, admitting it is the first step in treating a problem isn't it? Okay , I'm addicted to INXS. Yes, INXS. Isn't that bizarre? And yes, as one of my esteemed co-workers has already pointed out to me, I might be a few years late with this one but that doesn't seem to matter much. But wait, here is the story. I've always been a fan of INXS, dating back to their stuff in the mid 80's when I was just discovering my own musical tastes. Michael Hutchence was probably my very first "long hair" crushes and I had followed their progress through the years even though I wasn't a HUGE fan. When I heard about Michael Hutchence's death in 1997, I was very sad because he really was a great musician and the lead of a great band but I can honestly say that I haven't really given them too much thought over the past 7 years. That is...until this summer.

As some of you might know, there is a show on television right now called Rockstar: INXS and when I first heard about this, I was immediately against the entire concept. The premise behind it is that the remaining members of INXS are searching for a new lead singer and a group of rockers compete, with one or more getting voted off each week, until there is only one of them remaining. That person will be the new lead singer of INXS. And I can say that right from the start, that just seemed wrong to me, after all..how could you replace a guy like Michael Hutchence?? But then I made the mistake of watching the show one week and now? Yeah, you guessed it, I'm hooked. HOOKED!! That may even be too tame of a word for it. How bad is it? Let's just say that the majority of my free time last weekend was spent scouring the music stores in our town in search of a particular INXS Greatest Hits CD (which I eventually found in Walmart, of all places!). And ever since then, I've been having impromptu INXS concerts in my head as I can't seem to get their songs out of the rotating playlist in my brain!!

So yeah, we are rapidly reaching the level of INXS in exess but...damn, they are *really* good!! Go JD!

Turning over a new leaf

2005-07-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

Hi all! Yes, once again it has been nearly aeons since I last blogged but I'm back and and giving it another shot. After a little gentle nudging and some of the not so gentle variety, I've decided that I'm going to heed some very well intentioned advice and try to keep my posts shorter. I know, it will be much easier on you guys and yes, will admittedly take MUCH less time to write and therefore allow me to blog more often. So okay, good plan.

But of course that leads me to my next issue that seems to stand in my way when I think about blogging...yep, the plain truth of it is that my life really isn't all that exciting! Yes, yes, get your laughter out of the way but I'm being serious and honest here! I wouldn't say that I'm a boring person but aside from the normal day to day stuff routine of getting up, going to work, coming home and going to bed, I'm not sure that there is all that much that happens in between that would be blog worthy on a daily basis. But sure, I'll take a closer look at that too and see if I'm not just overlooking a plethora of useful material..lol.

The one thing I have noticed that I talk about a lot, both in my blog and in real life, is my beagle Jasper. And again to be honest, because that is what I'm going for here, I promised myself right from the start when we got him that I didn't want to be one of those people that needs to tell every single person they meet about the great/cute/amazing things their children/dogs do. Because really...no one else is nearly as interested/impressed as I am about it, right? So as a rule, I'm also going to try to limit my number of Jasper-related posts, even though he is cute as hell! Besides, other than my husband, he is the one I spend a good deal of time with so he is bound to pop up here and there in passing..lol.

Okay, I need to keep an eye on the length of this beast so I'll keep this one short...ish. Really, can I be expected to just go cold turkey on this short post thing?! This week has been a bit on the crazy side as Adam (my husband for those that don't know) is in sunny and *hot* Las Vegas for a week on business. And yes, before you ask, I *did* in fact just come back from my very own Vegas vacation in the middle of June but that was planned with my friend before we knew Adam would be going too. There is a New Job story involved there somewhere but I'll leave that for another day as I'm trying to keep this thing short.

So it has been a week of hanging out at home with the infamous Jasper and just taking it easy. And to be honest, it has been a pretty good week. No major issues have popped up, which is better than I could have anticipated, and I really, honestly and truly do not mind spending time by myself. Yes, I was a rather independent sort before I got married and it is nice to just get a taste of that again for a few days. Of course having said that, I'm going to be just a little more than ecstatic when he finally arrives back in town on Saturday night..;) But I can say that I had a very strange incident that happened to me tonight and it is one that disappointed me more than anything. You see, there is this older man (50+) that lives in one of the townhouses in our complex and right from the start when we got Jasper back in December, I would often run into this man when we head out for our walks. And it was good because Jasper seemed to take a liking to this man a little more every time we would see him. So as it happens, I have noticed as of late that this man was outside every time we would go for our walk, which at first I thought was friendly and I was touched that he would take time out of his schedule to say hi to us as we walked by every day. But then after a while, it just started to feel creepy and he started asking more personal questions. I always kept our conversations pretty short and made a point of mentioning Adam a lot but still..it just felt weird.

So after work today, the puppy and I headed out for our walk and of course ran into Brian. We talked for a minute about inconsequential stuff..the weather, the puppy and then he asked where we went when we went walking each day. This threw up a red flag so I just replied with a vague answer and then said we had to go. But while walking away, I hear him say "Oh, by the way.." and so I turned around. He ran up to me and said that he just wanted to know what unit number we lived in. I mean, what was I supposed to say? The man had seen me go in and out of our house quite a few times as he would be driving by or whatever and he *knew* where we lived, even if he didn't know the unit number, so I couldn't very well lie to him. I told him and then headed off for our walk feeling distinctly uncomfortable. But as if that wasn't bad enough, when Jasper and I got back from our walk an hour later, who do I find standing and waiting at the gates to our housing complex?? Yep, you guessed it...creepy Brian. I was trying to convince myself that it was a coincidence but it wasn't exactly working and he sealed the deal when he came up and started his sentence off with a "Hey, I have a favour to ask you.." You just know that the remainder of that sentence is never going to be a good thing. Anyway, to make a long story less long, he asked if I could loan him $10 as he doesn't get paid until tomorrow and his wife doesn't get paid until Wednesday. I said no and cut the conversation short but in the end, I'm just really disappointed because he seemed like a genuinely nice guy before he went creepazoid on me.

So there, that is something interesting that happened in my life. I'm not concerned with being alone here while Adam is in Vegas as our neighbours are VERY close by and I have an extremely nosy dog. But still..it is just one of those unsettling things. Oh well, you live and learn. Anyway, so this post didn't end up being short and I apologize to the blogging powers that be for that one. I promise I will try harder with the next one!

Adios!

A tribute to dumbasses, the world over..

2005-07-07T00:16:00.000-04:00

Hi ya'll, back for another round..:)

So yeah, I know it has been a while since I've been in and posted but I finally felt inspired tonight so here I am. So what, you ask, has inspired me enough to jump into the fray again? Well, for one it was the not-so-gentle nudge from a co-worker that shall remain nameless asking me this afternoon why it has been so long since I've updated my blog. And two, I'm just in the mood to rant tonight and as my husband is conveniently sleeping, this seemed like a pretty good place to do it!

My beef is this: why does it seem to be lately that the world is inhabited by a larger-than-ever proportion of dumbasses??

Come on now..you know what I mean. I'm not sure why but lately they have just seemed to be crawling out of the woodwork, hellbent on annoying the CRAP outta me and intent on making their presence known. And not only is it bad enough that they even exist, but then they have to go out of their way to make it crystal clear to me as to why they could be considered nothing but a dumbass to begin with.

Case in point:

We live in a lovely little townhouse complex that I can honestly say I really, really enjoy inhabiting. For the most part, and by that I mean in 99% of the cases, I really like the people that own the other units surrounding us and I can say without a doubt that our immediate neighbours on both sides of us are really great. The townhouse that we live in is part of a row of four, with ours being the 2nd one in from the left side. And by way of explanation, our townhouses are different in that we don't have garages but instead have a small grassy area out front and then parking spaces in front of our individual units.

So, having said this about those around us and our immediate neighbours in particular, there is always a bad seed in the bunch. Unfortunately, this bad seed just happens to be the people that reside in the end unit of the row of four townhouses in which we live. So yes, that would make them the ones living in the townhouse two down from us.

Now before I go on, let me point out that the people living in that townhouse...let's call it the "End Unit From Hell" or EUFH, are only renting it and as such, had no real tie to the community, as it were. And as snobby as it may make me sound, I really believe that it makes a difference. Those of us that own our places, for the most part, intend to be there for a while and as such, try to make the best effort possible to be on good terms with those that live around us. The couple that lives in the EUFH have never made this effort.

They moved in at the beginning of the summer last year and the friendliest thing that could be said about them is that they had an uber-cute little boy that was more than willing to talk away any time that we would see him. But for a full year now, we have never even had so much as a hello from the boy's parents even though we see them ALL the time. But okay...I understand that not everyone is of the friendly, sociable types so I can let that pass.

But a couple weeks ago now, I was on my way out the door and to my car when I ran into my right-side next door neighbour, Darlene. Now Darlene is a wonderful lady, about 50 years old with a 20 year-old son that lives in her basement. And Darlene and I hit it off right from the very first day when we moved in. She was also more than understanding about our dog-ownership struggles from this past winter, which I love her for, so when I can get a few minutes to chat to her, I take it. So upon seeing me, we exchange greetings for a minute or two and then she suddenly turns all serious and leans in toward me.

"Did you hear those two fighting the other day?" she whispers, nodding toward the EUFH and raising her eyebrows dramatically. Now this is one other thing that I can say about the townhouses we live in. They may not have been the best in construction but they certainly ARE rather soundproof. So, having heard nothing, I tell this to Darlene. She goes on to tell me how the inhabitants of the EUFH started fighting one night at about 1 a.m. and it lasted all night. Finally at 6 a.m., Darlene had to go over, knock on their door and tell them to cool it. And wow...was I flabbergasted! This sort of thing just doesn't happen in our complex and I can't honestly believe that I didn't hear a thing! But Darlene told me that she would keep me posted with any further developments.

And so a week and a bit pass and one Sunday morning, I get up semi-early to take Jasper for his morning walk, only to walk out on the pavement to find that some dumbass has smashed a few beer bottles on the ashphalt. And not only that, but they were smashed quite effectively into billions of shards and the scene of the crime just happens to be in one of most high-traffic areas of the entire complex. And wouldn't you know it...right outside of the EUFH! So of course this mess makes it rather difficult as I discover that I am the proud owner of a beer-loving beagle and so it is a struggle to keep him from stepping in the glass and cutting his paws all to shit. But I thought that it wasn't a big deal because surely the culprit would be out to clean it up that day...you can't just leave something like that there, can you??

Apparently, you can. Because there it did stay for days. And for days I painstakingly made sure that Jasper didn't step in any of it and then grimaced every time I would have to drive through the carnage with my car. Yes folks...it had been there for almost a week by the time I saw Darlene next and she quickly informed me that it had been the gentleman from the EUFH that had smashed the beer bottles, while in the throes of an argument with the lady of the house. Now keep in mind that they have a little boy living with them.

Anyway, by the time last Friday had arrived (Canada Day), I had deduced that there was obviously about a snowball's chance in hell of this man ever cleaning up the mess. So Friday afternoon found me outside in the driveway, with my broom and dustpan, sweeping up the glassy remains of the broken beer bottles because frankly, I really didn't wish to entertain the prospect of having anyone step in it, human or canine. So I worked at this for quite a while and while I didn't get all of it, I got a lot of it and was pretty happy with myself. So, gathering up my tools of defense, I made to make my way back towards our house, looking up at the front window of the EUFH as I passed only to find the beer-bottle smasher standing there and laughing at my efforts.

Yeah, okay so that makes me a sucker. But even more than that...it makes HIM a DUMBASS!

Since then, I am happy to report that a UHaul showed up one morning not long ago and took all their stuff away. The unit is presently up for rent and while I am going to miss the little boy's shouts of "Doggy!!" every time he saw Jasper, I am crossing my fingers that the next bunch are a little more...normal and less dumbass-ish.

Case in Point #2:

I forced myself to indulge in one of my least favourite activites tonight after work. I picked up the mail from our super-mailbox thingamabob. Yeah...it is only ever bills and most of the time, bills I can't afford to pay, so that is why it is one of my least favourite things to do. But this time, it contained a lovely little envelope emblazoned with the logo of our mortgage company. Hmm..I wonder what they could want. So upon entering the air-conditioned coolness of our house, I rip open the envelope to find that it is our annual statement of property taxes paid and property taxes owed for next year.

Now being a relatively new first-time home buyer (we moved in last May), these kind of things excite me a little. I like to see how the money we have paid is actually going to something other than to pay someone else's mortgage, like our rent was. So looking closer, I can clearly see the amount of taxes that we paid for last year and below that is supposed the amount of taxes that are to be due for this coming year, starting August 1. But wait...that can't be right. If I'm reading that correctly, it says that we owe $18,536 in taxes for the coming year. Pardon ME?? Holy Crap!! That is about a billion percent increase over what we paid last year!! Seriously...it says that our taxes for the coming year are going to be approximately 10% of the property value of our home!

Honestly people...don't they have someone responsible for checking these things before they are sent out?? Clearly someone missed a decimal place somewhere...or at least that is what I am hoping. And if not, this place is going to be up for sale pretty damn quickly. But yeah, so the person at the mortgage company that is responsible for sending out the hopefully erronous property tax statement would also qualify as a DUMBASS in my book for almost giving me a heart attack.

And really, I could go on from here but this post is already too long. Lets just say that the dumbasses are rampant as of late and maybe they come out with the heat. Now there is a theory that merits some thought..:)

Back to the land of the living..

2005-06-20T22:39:00.000-04:00

Well hello there. Yes, I do realize that it has once again been a LONG time since I've blogged but at least I have an excuse this time! Yes indeedy, I have in fact just returned from a week-long vacation to Las Vegas and I'm trying very hard to get my mind around being back home and in the line of fire after a truly amazing week of living the high life in the land that never sleeps.

Ah, what is it about vacations that make them just so hard to return from? I'll be the first to admit that I had a REALLY hard time of it last night trying to adjust to being back home again and I am pretty sure of the reason why but it still doesn't make it any easier. I guess it comes down to the fact that I had such a great time, even far beyond my own expectations, that it was hard to let go of that. I guess I should maybe explain a little about the vacation and how it came to be.

About two and a half years ago, after the initial onset of LOTR-mania, I stumbled upon this website dedicated to one of the LOTR characters (and for those of you who know me, you know exactly what character I'm talking about..lol). Anyway, through this website, I had the lucky fortune of becoming friends with a woman named Michele who was a fellow LOTR nut and needless to say, we hit it off right away. Through many conversations, first on MSN messenger and then on the telephone and eventually through the webcam, we discovered that not only did we have loads in common but we got along REALLY well. You know, it was the kind of feeling that you get rarely when two people really just seem to click..yeah, that was Michele and I. I can't even imagine how much time we have spent in the past 2.5 years just talking and talking and talking but to me, it has always felt that I knew her even though I had never met her face to face. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she lives clear across the country in Oregon while I'm just outside of Toronto. Tell me that doesn't throw a little wrench into the friendship plans.

But we didn't let that little obstacle stop us. I can honestly say that I have talked to her virtually every day in the intervening 2.5 years and have also had the pleasure of getting to know her two little 'uns and her husband while she has got to know my Adam as well. And while I would have been the first one to admit, way back when this all started, that I was more than sceptical about the ability for a friendship like this to endure, somehow we have been able to make it work. And let me tell you, it hasn't always been all roses either as Michele and I have encountered more than our fare share of rough spots that come with the territory in a friendship such as ours. We have stuck with it though and our friendship is all the stronger for it.

But then came the day, about a year ago when we got this brilliant idea that maybe it was time for us to meet. I mean, it would be the next logical step, right? Riiiiiight. So there began the intricate deliberation of deciding on where exactly this meeting should take place and when. Would we go by ourselves or take our husbands/families with us? If we do meet, how long should we stay for? Should it be at one of our perspective houses or on neutral ground? Trust me, the questions were endless because above all else, there still remained the fact that although I considered Michele to be one of my best friends, I still hadn't met her and for all either of us knew, we could have been far different in person than what we had made ourselves out to be. Oh yeah, we both had learned that lesson the hard way.

So on and on went the deliberation, moving forward just a step at a time until we finally reached a decision. Neutral ground would be best and for this first meeting and it would be just the two of us to avoid any other unneeded pressure. We chose Las Vegas for the destination since it is about a neutral a city as they comes and besides, if by some chance we did wind up hating each other on sight, at least Las Vegas was big and busy enough for us to lose ourselves in for the remainder of the trip. So a plan was born and airline tickets were researched but I can honestly say that up until the night that I actually booked my flight, I don't think I really thought that our trip was going to become a reality.

But as the days passed, the reality of the situation started to become increasingly clear and yes, I did start to panic. Would she like me? Would I like her? Could I deal with the let down if it turned out that we didn't mesh as well in person as we had over the internet and phone? But in the end, for better or worse, I was committed to this and I was going to go...just as much for the prospect of meeting Michele as to prove to myself that dammit, this was something that I could do by myself. Of course it was all made so much easier by the fact that both of our husbands were completely and utterly supportive of our decision to finally meet and were very excited about our trip to Las Vegas (especially Adam as this was a sort of "Happy 30th Birthday to me" present on my side).

So slowly but surely the date of our trip approached and suddenly I found myself standing on the other side of the security barrier at the Buffalo airport last Sunday afternoon with my boarding pass clutched in my hand waving tearfully (but excitedly) at Adam before making my way to my appointed gate. It took up until that very moment for the whole situation to become a reality and I made up my mind then and there to make the very most of any situation that might present itself in the coming week. Yeah, I was ready.

And you know what? It was amazing....simply amazing. From the moment that we actually first saw each other, I knew that everything was going to be fine. We gave each other a big hug and both started talking a mile a minute and it was just like being on the phone with her but without the annoying after-effect of a sore ear caused by pressing a piece of plastic against my ear for long periods of time! lol And what started off great on Sunday night, standing at the baggage claim at the Las Vegas Airport, just got better as the days passed. Yeah, I think it is safe to say that we got along quite well and I will never, not even for a moment, regret making the decision to meet her because now I know that the friendship we share is real. There may be 3000 miles separating us but we have enough memories from the past week to hold us over until the next time we are able to see each other. Yeah, we are thinking of making this kind of trip into an annual event (but we'll include the husbands next time..lol).

So I know that the sadness from last night, in part, came from the fact that I miss her like crazy and wish for the zillionth time that Oregon was just a wee bit closer to Ontario. But there is a point to this rambling blog of mine. I am sure that some of you that may be reading this have become very familiar with the concept of online friendships..a sign of the time that we live in. But I also know just as well that there are many people that would scoff at the idea of these sorts of friendships being real, true or feasible. My advice to you is to not let yourself be discouraged by the naysayers because, as far as I can tell, there is no written rule that says that good friends must always reside within a 30 km radius of your front door. The world is a big place and there are a lot of people out there..and as far as I'm concerned, the friends that I have made online mean just as much to me as the ones I see face to face every day.

I can not tell you the number of people that I came across, especially in the few weeks leading up to our trip, that looked at me like I had three heads when I told them that I was travelling clear across the country (by myself) to spend a week with someone that I had never actually met face to face. And yeah, they would have had a point if this were someone that I had only just started talking to or had never actually seen her and her family on the webcam. But 2.5 years is a LONG time to keep up any sort of farce so I was pretty confident that she wasn't an axe murderer.

In the end, I was proud of myself that I went through with it because I was able to prove to myself that I could do it. And I will be eternally grateful to my lovely husband for having enough confidence and trust in me to drive me to the airport and send me off into the wild blue beyond, not to mention taking on everything at home so that I could be footloose and fancy free for an entire week. And most of all, I am so happy and just plain tickled that my friendship with Michele is stronger than ever. Needless to say, I can't wait until next year.

Is 30 really the new 20?

2005-06-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years, I'm gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years, I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years

--My Next Thirty Years, Tim McGraw

Well, for better or for worse, it is now official...I have entered into a new decade and undoubtedly a new chapter in my life. Yes my friends...I turned 30 on Sunday. And how do I feel about turning 30, you might ask? To be honest, I'm not quite sure yet.

Those of you who know me know that I have always been a bit crazy about birthdays..but crazy in a good way. I'll be honest, I love them..always have and most likely always will. But predictably, this one caused me a little bit of grief. Hesitation, if you will. It isn't that I'm not okay with turning thirty because I honestly am. I mean, sure it is another year that has passed but by this point one would hope that I've made some progress in dealing with that particular phenomenon. But the age of 30 just has such a horrible stigma surrounding it and I tried very hard, in the weeks and months leading up to the "big day" not to get too caught up in it.

I have always loved making a big deal of birthdays, both mine and those of my friends and family, and as many can attest to, I am usually more than happy to extend my birthday out to include several days before and after the actual day. This period has come to be known as my Birthday Week. So for me, I knew that I really was having a lot of trouble with this birthday when I came to the realization that I was actually considering not even celebrating it this year. That was definitely a departure for me and when I mentioned it to some of my friends, they were obviously just a little shocked.

Luckily, I came to my senses in time but I'm still a bit puzzled as to why it was causing me so much uncertainly to begin with. Yes, I do realize that it is a bit of a milestone birthday and that thirty is really the one that many use to measure the progression of their life goals against. And while I might not exactly be where I envisioned that I would find myself at the age of thirty, I'm really not doing too bad. Sure, I might not be the famous musician living the high life in LA that I naively imagined as a teenager but I'm married to a wonderful man whom I love deeply and who I know loves me deeply in return. I have a decent job doing something that I find quite interesting, I have surrounded myself with friends that I love and respect and who hopefully feel the same way about me, and for the most part am proud of that I have accomplished in the past 30 years.

But then, maybe that is the problem. You see, I never actually thought that I would every really be 30! Thirty is something that my parents were when I was even old enough to remember and right from when I was a little girl, it always *seemed* old to me. Of course, knowing what I do now, I know that this isn't exactly the case. I don't feel old. I don't feel as if some magic maturity fairy flew in through the window early Sunday morning and sprinkled me with magical fairy maturity dust. And frankly, I'm rather glad about that. I guess it really is what everyone has been saying: just another year.

But in retrospect, turning 30 does provide me with a pretty good opportunity to reflect back on a few things that I have done (or haven't done, for that matter) and I know as I sit here that there are still a LOT of things that I want to do with my life. I might have come along way but the journey in front of me is longer still and that is enough to bring a smile to my face. For instance, I want to own a horse, I want to learn how to play several different musical instruments, I want to take singing lessons and join a choir. I want to learn how to speak German fluently, I want to travel to New Zealand and have a picnic under the "Party Tree", I want to cultivate a closer relationship with my sister, I want to become more like my mother and I want to write a book about my father and the wonderful memories I have of him. I want to learn how to quilt like my grandmother did, I want to see my name on the front cover of a Harlequin Romance novel, I want to learn how to drive a motorcycle and I want to make enough money to be able to happily move to Prince Edward Island with Adam some day and live the life of an islander because that is really where my heart is. Yeah, there is still a whole lot that I want to do.

And I guess the one thing that turning thirty has allowed me to do is to look back without the fear of looking forward. It is almost like standing on top of a small hill and looking back at all of the experiences and people along the way that have impacted my life in some way, even with the realization that an even bigger hill lies ahead of me. And yes, there has been much along the way that has made a difference in my life, friends that have come and gone, but probably the most two significant events would be meeting Adam and losing my father.

Adam is..hmm, how to describe him. I guess the best way to put it is to say that he is my best friend and the perfect match for me. I like to think that we compliment each other very well and he has a fantastic sense of humour that meshes with mine perfectly, even if we have a tendency to lean towards the sarcastic side at times. He is the one I laugh with, who I have cried with more times than I care to count, who tolerates my silliness and listens to my opinions but isn't afraid to let me know when he disagrees. And man...he is smart and I love that about him. I really hope that our children pick that up from him..;) I always knew that someday I would get married but I never imagined that I would ever find someone that I would love as I love Adam. And in 30 years from now when I'm celebrating my 60th birthday, I know I'll be looking forward to also celebrating being married to him for 36 years as well.

And my dad...well, I just really miss him. I guess in all the scenarios that I imagined myself in at the age of 30, I never once imagined that it would not include the presence of the man that has made me much of who I am today. It has been 7 years this September since he was taken so quickly from us after suffering a heart attack and not a day goes by that I don't miss him with all of my heart. He had a wicked sense of humour, could tell a mean tale, had a heart of gold and even though he was a big man, he could sneak up on virtually anyone, and as quietly as anyone I have ever seen! He had high expectations of both my sister and I and although at times he would frustrate the hell out of me, I know now what he did what he did in pushing us to be the best that we could be. I can't tell you the number of times, even now, that I find myself reaching for the phone and thinking that I really want or need to tell him something. Because so much has happened in the past seven years that I know he would want to know...and that I really wish I could talk to him about. Seven years later and I still can't quite believe that he is gone.

But those are the experiences that shape a person, for what they are worth. And as I look back on the past 30 years, I know in my heart that the best is still truly to come. And in the end, this birthday turned out to be a great one, enjoyed privately with Adam and celebrated at a wonderful party held on Saturday night with our good friends. And so if this is to be the birthday by which others are to be measured, I'd say this is a pretty great place to start. Here's to the my next 30 years...cheers!

Does this come in my size?!

2005-05-29T21:53:00.000-04:00

Hi all..bad blogger person back for another round! Hmm..it's Sunday night again and here I find myself finally back at the computer with a little something to say. I think I might have just experienced one of the shortest weekends ever on record. Now, don't get me wrong, it was the same length as any other weekend but it just felt short...really short. And did I do anything all that riveting? No, not really.

Yesterday was a lazy day that hit it's high point when Adam and I went for dinner to this awesome little diner/restaurant place called Hutch's down on Hamilton Beach Road. For those of you (and that means most of you probably!) that don't know of what I speak, it is this wonderful place right on the beach that serves traditional diner fare and apparently has been there forever! Well, since 1946 anyway, or so the menu board said.

Anyway, Adam and I have been there only one time before and even though the restaurant and the beach surrounding it is usually teaming with people, it still somehow feels very exclusive..almost like you have discovered something that is yours alone. Walking through the front door is literally like walking into a time warp and you can feel that the place really hasn't changed much in the past 59 years. It is alive with history that you can almost reach out and touch.

But aside from the magic of the place itself, there is also the other draw...the fact that they serve the best fish and chips this side of the Maritimes. Yeah, that alone is enough to keep me coming back again and again..well, that and the ice cream counter that I just can't seem to resist visiting before we leave!

So instead of going grocery shopping like responsible people would, we blew that off for the little trip to Hutch's, which then led to another trip to IKEA (which is another blog for another time) and the purchase of some patio furniture that we could not afford. But that was it...that was my oh-so-exciting Saturday.

And that led to today and the dawning of a bright and sunny Sunday morning. I don't know what exactly it is about Sunday mornings that alway seem to hold so much promise, but today was no exception. I woke up early, spent some quality time with Adam and then decided that a little shopping trip was in order...so off to the mall I went to meet up with Tracy. And this is really what I wanted to write my blog about.

Now I'm not complaining a bit about the shopping trip in general because overall it was a good, good time, as usual with Tracy. No, my beef lies with a few select individuals that I always seem to encounter on these shopping trips...individuals that, if I let them, could have seriously put a damper on my day. Come on, I'm sure you know of what individuals I speak. Yep, retail salespeople.

Okay, let me set the scene. So here we are, Tracy and I, we meet at the mall, each with our own purpose in mind. She was looking for an outfit for a summer wedding and I was looking to make a few purchases to extend my wardrobe for my upcoming trip to Vegas in two weeks (again, another blog). So after a short side trip, we finally get down to it and make our way through the mall in search of stores that might suit our purposes.

So along on our way, we come to a few stores that look promising for what Tracy is looking for so we head in. Now for those of you who know me, you know that there is no way in hell that anything that is sold in a "regular" store is going to fit me. Yes, for the next little while at least, I'm a plus size girl. But that doesn't stop me from going on in and lending my opinion or moral support as it may be, to my "regular" sized friends when they happen to be in the need to shop when with me. I don't personally see it as a problem but apparently, not everyone is of the same mindset as I am.

So there we are, making our way through the stores as Tracy finds a few things to try on. Now I'm not sure if this is the way with all plus-sized women, but there is just something I find very enjoyable about going shopping with "regular" sized people. I always find the best outfits and will "suggest" to my heart's content...maybe I'm just living vicariously through my smaller friends but whatever it is, I quite enjoy it. Maybe I just envision myself as a "celebrity dresser to the stars" type, who knows. And the first few stores that we went in to were not bad or maybe my radar just wasn't quite warmed up yet but as soon as we walked into this one store (called Melanie Lynn, for those who are familiar with it), everything changed. All of a sudden, I'm noticing the "looks" that I'm being sent by the considerably smaller sales people. If you are plus-sized, you know the looks I speak of. They are the "I'm-trying-not-to-stare-but-honestly-does-she-really-expect-to-find-something-in-this-store-to-fit-her-fat-body-and-I-really-hope-she-doesn't-try-anything-on-and-stretch-it-as-then-it-won't-fit-properly-on-any-of-our-other-skinnymini-customers" looks. Yeah, they try not to be obvious with the looks at first but the longer you stay in the store, the mort frantic and obvious the looks become. It is like they are somehow threatened by the presence of a fat person on the skinny-girl territory.
And I'm sorry but hell, that really bites my ass. I hate it and it irritates the crap out of me. There I was, finding myself trying to stay as close to Tracy as possible so that the frightened salespeople would be able to see that I was in fact NOT in there looking for something for myself but there on a clothes-finding mission with a friend.

And I thought that I was doing pretty well until we made it to this store called Laura Petites. Now maybe it is just the fact that I've been overweight for virtually my whole life, but there just seems something very wrong about someone my size going anywhere near a store with the word "Petite" in the title, but on in I went anyway. After all...we were on a mission and it looked like they had some cute dresses in there that would be perfect for a summer wedding. But again, as soon as I walked in, I could feel the looks coming my way..and this time they weren't only from the staff but they were from the customers to. At one point I was standing at one of the racks of dresses helping Tracy look for a size when this "regular" sized woman came right up and acted like I wasn't even there, virtually pushing me out of the way. And as a side note, yes I know that this could have happened because she was just a bitch but work with me here..I'm on a rant.

Anyway, I tried to ignore it and walked with Tracy over to the fitting rooms as she had found a few things that she wanted to try on. She went on in and I stayed outside making a pretense of looking at the racks of dresses hanging nearby in an attempt to look like I was actually doing something other than standing there like an idiot. But low and behold, there comes along this little salesperson, dressed in her little sales person clothes and this god-awful look on her face. She gives me this false, pinched smile that clearly had no hope in hell at being sincere or even reaching her eyes, for that matter and literally gave me the once over from head to foot. And clearly what she saw there didn't please her since it was all she could do to get out a "Can I help you?" in her most insulting, saccarine sweet voice.

And let me tell you, if I was just a little bit less of the nice person that everyone is always telling me that I shouldn't be, I would have given her an ear ful. I would have told her that no, she couldn't help me. There is absolutely nothing in that I need in my life that I could ever get from her. And yes, I do realize that there is no way in hell that any of their 80-year-old grandmother clothes would fit me, and yes, I do realize that I am breaking some sort of truce that has been established through the ages between the skinny and the fat people of the world, not to tread on their sacred territory. And yes, I do realize that I really must be serving as quite a distraction to their regular customers as they can't seem to stop staring at me either. And yes, I would really love to know just who shit in her cornflakes this morning to make her think that she has the right to talk down her skinny little nose to me, making me feel like I'm some sort of a lesser being, just becuase I don't qualify for the 0 to 14 size range. See? Told you I could have given her an earful.

But did I say that? No, instead I turned her smile back on her and said that I was just waiting for my regular sized friend that was trying something on.

But what I really, really wanted to say to her was that if she thinks that I'm fat now, she should have seem me 60 pounds ago, before I discovered the magic of Weight Watchers. And yes, I can absolutely, completely and utterly guarantee her that, when the time comes when I AM skinny enough to fit in "regular" sized clothing, I sure the hell won't be shopping in her store. Because the time will come when I am no longer carrying an extra person around with me as I have a goal and I'm working toward that goal every day. And when that day comes, I'll be making my way directly to the stores that have the nice "regular" sized clothes but more than that, I'll be heading to the ones that have the decent people working in them because I have been keeping track.

Okay. I'm done ranting now. But please do me a favour..whether you are a sales person or not, the next time you come face to face with a plus-sized person, please try to make an effort to treat that person like a human being. You don't know us and you don't know anything about our lives and under it all, we are all human beings and deserve to be treated with respect. There may be more to us than many people think there should be but really, if you look close enough, chances are that you are going to find a pretty big heart inside as well.

Just one of those things..

2005-05-15T22:50:00.000-04:00

Well as another weekend draws to a close, I find myself in one of those introspective moods that seem to come so easily to me on Sunday nights, for whatever reason. It must just be because the weekend represents two days that are literally filled with endless possibilities and by the time Sunday night rolls around, I've begun to accept the reality that I have to return to work the next day. Well, barring any unforeseen lottery wins, anyway. So as I sit here and look forward to the dawning of next weekend (which is also the long weekend, I might point out..YeeHaw!) I thought I might as well do a little bitta blogging.

It has actually been a bit of a tense weekend in the lives of my family this weekend as it came about that my aunt is very sick and in the hospital. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't made it to the age of 30-less-3-weeks without coming face to face with the reality of our mortality as humans. In fact, I probably know more about that than I should at this point but that is another story for another blog at another time. But it still doesn't change the fact that frankly, life sometimes just sucks. There...I said it. It just sucks. Sheesh.

Yes, my aunt is very sick and I know that realistically with the realities of brain cancer, the end is going to come sooner rather than later. And do you know the only thing that I can think about this right now? It isn't how fortunate we have all been to have the time that we have had together...it isn't how fortunate that we have such a big extended family and so we will never really be alone. What I am really thinking is that life is just really damn unfair. Yes, I know I'm feeling sorry for myself but..that is the way it is.

I mean, my mom spent many years not on speaking terms with my aunt and they only began to really speak to each other again just a few years ago. And now something like this happens. I know it is breaking my mom's heart to think of losing her sister when she only got her back again, let alone what my aunt and her family must be going through right now. At the risk of sounding like a petulant seven-year old, it just isn't fair.

Having said that, the one thing I will always be thankful for are the memories that I have. For whatever reason, I am one of those people that have a LOT of memories from their childhood and as I get older, I become more and more thankful of this particular trait. Anyway, when I think of my aunt I always think of this incident that happened when I was a little girl and my mom and dad would take my sister and I to visit my aunt and uncle. They lived in a city about an hour away which for a little'un, makes for a pretty big adventure. But anyway, my aunt and uncle had this big bad-ass german shepherd named Sam and to put it plainly Sam was a mean, mean dog. On this particular visit, I couldn't have been more then 3 or 4 and as we didn't have animals in our house, my exposure to dogs had been pretty limited.

During the day, my sister and I had somehow managed to cajole my mom into buying us chocolate bars and with me being me, I had decided to save mine until later (aka: until after my sister had eaten hers as somehow that automatically made mine better!). I distinctly remember my mom putting my chocolate bar in her purse while we were out shopping so that I would have it for later when I wanted it and then we had gone on to my aunt and uncle's to visit for a while.

For the most part, they usually kept Sam outside on account of his meanness but for whatever reason, on this particular day, he was inside with the rest of us. Don't ask me how I remember all of this because I have no clue but I can recall sitting safely up on my mom's lap with my sister sitting nearby as my mom and Aunt Barb talked about something or other. And it was from up there on my safe perch on my mom's lap that I saw the evil Sam out in the hallway by the front door sniffing around my mom's purse, which she had left open on the floor. And now what was in my mom's purse again?? Yes, precious...it was the chocolate bar..MY chocolate bar that I had been saving to taunt my sister with! So in my infinite pre-five year old wisdom, I remember squirming around on my mom's lap until she finally put me down to wander off and the first thing I did was make a beeline for the hallway, intent on resucing my ch0colate bar. But upon arrival in the hallway, I find to my horror that the evil Sam has already located my chocolate bar and presently is making a pretty good attempt at chewing through the wrapper. But did this deter me? Was I worried about the evil dog slobber that would inevitably be sullying my wonderful chocolate bar? Absolutely not...all that mattered to me was that it was mine and I wanted it back. So, with all the bravery of a child that has never encountered a snarling hell-hound, I walked right up to him and reached out to take the chocolate bar from his mouth and I''m sure I don't need to draw you a picture for you to understand that this didn't go very well.

He snarled alright and to this day, I distinctly remember the fear I felt in that moment. My mom came rushing out and swept me up out of danger and into her arms but I have never, ever forgotten that day or the fact that my aunt told my mom that there was no way that Sam would have hurt me. Had I been able to stop crying and been of an age where complete sentences came easy to me, I would have heartily disagreed! As it was, I returned to my mom's lap and Sam got to keep the nasty chocolate bar: Evil dog, 1...wee Heather 0. Let me also say that as a result of that day, it took me many, many years to overcome my fear of any kind of dogs..lol.

Yeah, I know it is a bit of a strange memory but it is one that always stands out for me when I think of my aunt. Just like I will always associate her with the taste of pepsi, the particular aroma of Du Maurier cigarettes and the unforgettable food-stuff that is macaroni mixed with canned tomatos. And on top of that, I will always remember, with complete and exsquisite detail, the weekend last summer when Kate and I went to spend a few days up at the trailer with my mom. My aunt and uncle also have a trailer in the same trailer park and on that particular Saturday night, my aunt made us a meal fit for a king...thick, juicy steaks and more butter-fried mushrooms than you could shake a stick at. I remember thinking that night as we all sat around talking, digesting and just soaking in the unique quietness that comes from twilit summer nights, that we were the lucky ones...the real lucky ones that we could have nights like that. I couldn't have been more right.

T Minus Two Days and Counting...

2005-05-04T00:16:00.000-04:00

Hello all...yes, I know. I've been away for a very long time and I'm pretty sure that makes me some sort of a bad person. I just haven't felt like I've had much to blog about as of late but I thought now might be the right time to make a re-appearance. Do I now have something to say that would be worthy of a blog? No, prolly not. But I'm going to do it anyway..;)

I guess I should maybe follow up on my last post with my wonderous breakthrough with the dog walking technique. It has been, what, 21 or 22 days now and I'm happy to report that the dog walking continues to be a success. Ah, sweet blessed success! The general way of things are much more relaxed around our house since then and forever more I will always praise and exhault the makers of such wonderful contraptions. Now if I could only get *damn dog* to stop howling at me when I try to punish him for something. I wonder if the Halti-makers have created something to help with the phenomena of Beagle howling..hmm.

On another equally happy note, I am VERY excited to report that the premiere of Kingdom of Heaven is now only TWO days away! Yes, I know, I can hardly believe it myself! Now why, you might ask, is this little tidbit just so important to me? Well for those of you who do not know me (or not that well), one of the very first things you should know and will undoubtedly learn about me is that I have a complete and utter (although entirely healthy ;) ) obsession for Orlando Bloom. I know..he is really hot, isn't he?!

Okay yes, I will admit that it might be strange for an almost 30 year-old, happily married woman to have what most people would term a "pre-teen fascination" with an actor/celebrity but alas, it is true and I am not ashamed to admit it! It started *way* back in 2002 when my brother in law convinced me to sit down and watch the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring extended edition DVD with him that we had bought him for Christmas. Just one look at the blonde elf Legolas and I was smitten! And while I admit that I was originally just fascinated with the whole elf concept, it quickly came to be as much about the person that portrayed Legolas as about the character and movie itself. Don't get me wrong, LOTR is still (and prolly always will be) my favourite movie/book and I'm fascinated by all things Tolkien but it goes a bit beyond that too. And well, it has just grown from there, through the release of the remaining LOTR movies and then on to Orlando's *other* movies after that. So yeah, I'm a bit strange but I take heart in knowing that I'm not the only one! I mean, the man has a HUGE fan base and I'm pretty sure that it can't all be made up of pre-teen girls. And after all, one of my best friends is probably the only other person in the world that I know that could be considered a bigger Orlando fan than I am!

And after saying all of that, I have to say that I have what can only be the sweetest, most patient, loving, indulgent husband in the entire world as he not only puts up with what he calls my "Orlando Obsession", but he actually *feeds* it! I can not even count the number of times he has put up with watching the various releases of LOTR (in theatrical and extended edition format) and he really doesn't complain all that much about it. And then for Christmas 2003, he gave me what what I will always consider to be one of the best Christmas presents that I have ever received when he bought me tickets to go to the LOTR trilogy marathon. But it gets better..not only did he buy me tickets but he *came with me* too! He happily tolerated spending an obscene 14 hours straight in a movie theatre one cold December day so that I could watch the three LOTR movies back to back to back and still...no complaints! He just rocks! On top of that, he has bought me SO many LOTR/Orlando themed gifts that I think I've just about lost track, including posters, calendars, puzzles and that wonderful autographed Orlando Bloom framed photo that he bought me for Valentines Day..;) And after saying all of this, it shouldn't surprise you that for my approaching 30th birthday he has bought me tickets to attend the LOTR symphony..on my actual birthday!! Back off ladies, I know I'm a lucky girl..:)

But anyway, it seems that I've got a bit off topic from my original point. That point is that Orlando's new movie, Kingdom of Heaven comes out on Friday and frankly, I can't wait. Although this time, I thought that I might give Adam (lovely husband) a break from battling the opening night crowds and friend Tracy has so graciously agreed to go with me. I just hope she knows what she is getting into!! LOL And besides, Adam and I can go on Saturday night..;) See? Told you that I was obsessed!

A little bit of Jasper in my life...

2005-04-12T23:18:00.000-04:00

Sheesh, I'm such a slacker! I've been promising myself that I would get around to blogging several times over the past few days but somehow the days have been getting away from me. What have I been doing, pray tell? To be honest, not a whole lot. I know...I'm a horrible blogging person.

But really, why does it seem that as the weather starts to get warmer, the days start to go faster? I can honestly say that there were a few days in the depths of those dark January days when I thought spring would never come. But alas, here it is. Something else I have noticed as of late is how my entire day seems to hinge on the actions of our not-so-newly acquired Beagle. Okay, for all those who know me, you know that these past for months have been something of a struggle for me, dog wise. For a while there, it seemed my life had been separated into two distinct parts: BJ (And that stands for Before Jasper so get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty, dirty people!) and AJ (predictably, After Jasper). Things were awfully tense for those first few weeks...alright, for those first few months, in all honestly. There were many times that I found myself bursting into tears of frustration at the office when a co-worker would innocently ask how our new puppy was doing. And I can't count the number of times when Adam (my husband) would come home to find me sobbing on the couch while poor beagle friend stared at me like I had lost my mind. To put it bluntly, I hated the dog (yes, I admit it) and I wanted nothing more than to take him back to the Shelter where we had found him.

But then, something rather astounding started happening. Day by day, things started to get better. Oh don't misunderstand me...there are still plenty of times when I find myself ready to inflict some serious damage but more often than not, I'm laughing at something cute or silly he has done and calling out "Love you angel boy..be a good dog" when I'm heading out the door in the morning. What in the world has happened to the woman who wanted to send him back to the shelter?! Oh, I'm sure she is still in there somewhere but slowly, she is being beaten into submission. Yes, her, not the dog..lol.

So where is this all going, you ask? I have no idea. I just felt the need to talk about Jasper and about the stunning realization that Adam and I had this weekend that we have now had him for four months. Four months! Where does the time go? I think back to that time, just before Christmas when all Adam and I could talk about was how much we wanted a dog...how much I wanted a dog. I guess I just never imagined that *my dog* would be the 10 month old beagle that is now running around downstairs like an animal possessed while I am typing this. I had always envisioned myself with something more...more...well, more *me*, like a lab or something. But in all truthfulness, I wouldn't trade Jasper for the world. And in saying that, I suppose I shouldn't be offended when, upon hearing that we had got a Beagle, one of my very good friends replied with the following: "A beagle? That is such a perfect dog for you. It IS you!" Umm...I am still not sure what that means but I'm hoping that she isn't implying that I must be kept on a leash at all times for fear of me escaping into the wide world beyond!

And just as a side note to add to all of this (and probably what sparked all of this in the first place), we had a bit of a Jasper breakthrough this afternoon. Those of you in the know, and for the most part, this would apply first and foremost to my ever patient co-workers who hear a LOT about Jasper on a daily basis, you know that things have been steadily improving. The poor beast has mastered how to sit, stay, etc...but the most frustrating thing for me from the start has always been the fact that he absolutely, ABSOLUTELY refused to walk properly on a leash. Now this might not seem to be that big of a concern but for me, it was tantamount as I am the one that walks him most in the daylight hours and for Jasper, seeing other people or dogs was like what a red cape must be to a bull. Just one glance and he would be off, dragging a helpless and hapless me after him for whatever length of time it would take me to finally bring him back under control. Yes, as you can imagine, this is what led to many of the breakdowns that Adam would witness when he came home from work at night as I have been put in charge of taking the energetic Jasper for a walk after I get home from work. Yes, I get home first so that lovely honour falls to me. Now don't get me wrong, I am in charge of popping home and taking him for a short walk at lunch as well but being as it is the middle of the day, there are not very many people around our area at that time so the most he usually gets up to is chasing the odd squirrel. And frankly, I've become quite adept at squirrel spotting, which gives me those few precious moments to prepare before my arm would be unceremoniously ripped off.

But I digress. So basically, the whole walking thing was quickly becoming the bane of my existence (Isildur's Bane, for all of my fellow LOTR friends) because frankly, I just couldn't handle the pulling. It was so bad that for me, just the thought of having to take him for that walk after work was enough to send my stress levels soaring at the end of each day. I dreaded it, and even more so as the weather has started to get warmer for two very important reasons.

1) With the warmer weather, people have started to crawl out of the woodwork again. Where before, on those dark, snowy and cold after-work walks, Jasper and I might see the odd person or two with their equally odd dogs, now there are *scores* of people out and about...scads even! I have taken to walking Jasper through a park near our house and I just couldn't believe the number of people there the other day. Okay, enough of that..on to number 2.

ahem..

2) With the onset of the warmer weather, I can no longer wear my padded ski mitts that have been my saving grace up until this point. You see, the poor dog pulls so much that the handle from the leash cuts into my skin and damn well hurts..ALOT! But for some reason, people don't seem to take well to seeing you wearing ski gloves in 15C temperatures, even as protection.

So basically, I was at a loss and didn't know what to do. I had taken to wearing mini gloves but still, it didn't do much to save my hands from the leash and even they were too warm for the nice spring days we have been having of late. But then it seemed, everything changed this weekend.

For one, I went out and bought Jasper (and myself) a new leash. And this one is an uber-leash..the leash to end all leashes...MY leash! And the key to this one...it is round and therefore has no nasty edges to cut into my ever so tender flesh! Score one for me! And for two, Adam and I FINALLY got around to going back to PetSmart (the place that has replaced IKEA as my #1 money taker) to exchange the halter harness we had bought about 2 months ago for the proper size. Ding ding ding...still not sure what took us so long.

So okay, the new leash was a stellar idea and we tried it out on Sunday and Monday, noticing that it indeed was an improvement on the hands. But it still wasn't doing anything to help the fact that Jasper was still pulling like a fiend. Damn dog...that is my new name for him. And so after what was probably our worst walk to date, yesterday after work, Adam took the halter harnness thingy out of the package and fit it on to Jasper to see how it was going to work. I'm sure I don't have to tell you just how unimpressed he was to have this "Mask of Zorro" contraption attached to his face and he fought like mad for the entire 10 minutes that he had it on, trying to pull it off his face. To put it lightly, I wasn't hopeful.

But Adam, bless his soul, is persistant. He took him out in it for his bedtime walk last night and had some minor success with it, although it did manage to come off a couple of times and Jasper would have been just a speck on the horizon if it weren't for the convenient "safety strap". But you know me...I was still skeptical. I mean, what would happen if I took him out in it and he somehow managed to get out of it AND unhook the safety strap?? We would be dogless and I'm pretty sure Adam would think it was premeditated..thusly, never forgiving me. And yes, I do realize that this would have to mean that we had one terribly impressive Houdini of a pooch on our hands to manage such a feat but still...it *could* happen.

Anyway, I had been debating this whole "should I", "shouldn't I" thing all day today, having just opted for the leash at lunch. And when I was driving home, I finally convinced myself to give it a try. What is the worst that could happen? So arriving home, I took a deep breath, grabbed the halter/harness thingy with a firm hand and forced it on to a very unhappy puppy. I then clipped on the uber leash and headed out the door, keeping very close watch on the constantly protesting Jasper to make sure that he wasn't pulling the halter/harness thingy off. And you know what? It worked....it actually worked. Really, I think I'm still in shock over it.

The one we have is one that fits around the snout of the dog and then clips behind his head. The leash is attached to a ring underneath the dogs chin which in effect, pulls the dogs snout closed and down to his chest each time he starts to pull. And from first hand experience, I can honestly say that it is a godsend! I mean, part of it could have been the fact that Jasper was trying so hard to get the darn thing off that he didn't have time to pull like he normally does. But halfway through the walk, he seem to reach some point of acceptance and stopped struggling so much...and still, he didn't start pulling. Every time he did, it would just take a little tug on the uber-leash to get him back in line again. God, I LOVE this thing!! We even came across PEOPLE...and DOGS!! And still...no pulling! Sweet Jesus, this is what having a dog is all about! And you know what the best part was? We walked by this man and woman and I heard her commenting about what a nice dog Jasper was to walk so well beside me. I actually had to look around to make sure they were talking about MY dog! I'm just thankful that they weren't around to witness the little spectacle that he made of us yesterday afternoon, pre-Halti! I'm just hoping that I will again run into the man that I saw in the park one day late last week that laughed at me while I was trying to rein in an especially exuberant Jasper. My favourite part was when he then proceeded to tell me that I was fighting a losing battle since he had a beagle once and was therefore the foremost expert on them, informing me that they were absolutely impossible to train. Well, I'll show him, I thought...and now, I can!

I suppose I'm really hoping that this walk wasn't some sort of an abberation (of whatever that is called) and that he won't start pulling like a maniac again tomorrow when I take him out. But I really think we might be on to something here. At least I hope. I can handle and accept the rest of Jaspers unique quirks but this walking thing was so important to me, just for the lack of stress alone. I'm looking forward to actually being able to *like* him again, as well as love him.

Anyway, this has gone on longer than I had wanted/expected but thats okay because its my blog and I'll cry if I want to..lol. I didn't get the chance to talk about all the other things I wanted to talk about but I suppose those shall wait for another day.

My friend Kate..

2005-03-30T16:52:00.000-05:00

Today is a very special day in that it is a very important birthday of a very good friend of mine..my friend Kate.

Kate is, well.. it is kind of hard to know where to start as there are just so many facets to her. But I guess the easiest way to put it would be to simply say that Kate is the person that I consider to be my best friend. And she is definitely that. She is the one I can talk to about anything, she is a great listener, a wonderful shoulder to cry on and funny as hell. She has an amazing sense of humour, a gentle soul, a good heart and a beautiful smile. When I talk to her, I know that she isn't just listening but is actually hearing what I am saying and I know, without a doubt, that if I ever needed her, she would be (and has been) right there for me, just as I would be for her. And above all of this, I know that we share a connection with each other that is precious and so very rare...we just *get* each other and throughout the years I have come to realize that this sort of friendship doesn't come along very often.

I can't count the number of nights where we have passed the hours by just talking, talking about anything and everything. And the laughter...oh the laughter. Right from the start of our friendship, it became very apparent that not only did we share many of the same interests and experiences in our lives, but we also shared the same sense of humour. An overheard comment or a shared look is often more than enough to just set us off laughing and there have been more times than I can count that my stomach has actually *ached* from laughing so hard with her at something that I'm sure no one else would find nearly as funny.

Looking back, Kate and I actually met a few times before we really started to become friends and it wasn't really until one night after a get-together at the new home of her and her husband that we really clicked. And from there, it just seemed to snowball. We have so much in common and we share so many similarities that to me, it feels like I have known her forever. And if that isn't the sign of a good friendship, I'm not sure what is.

I guess to me, the most amazing thing is that every time we are together, another memory is made. There are so many times when I find myself saying to her.."Remember when we did..." or "Remember that time when we...". And most often, all that is needed is just a word or a phrase to set us off, like "You be Kid Rock" or "I'll take that one" or "I need a beverage, stat!" or...god, I could go on forever.

I think I have always been aware that Kate and I shared a friendship that was unique and rare but it became even more apparent on the day that the two of us had the opportunity to spend some time with my sister and her husband when they came to visit. I am pretty sure that my sister was actually frightened of how alike we are and that same reaction was shared by my mom the first time she had the pleasure of the full on "Kate and Heather" experience..lol. I'm sure they were wondering if it were possible that there were *two* of me in the world and just how that managed to come to pass.

But regardless of how we got here, the simple fact of the matter is that I can't imagine my life without her in it and I am so very grateful for the gift of her friendship. So if you are reading this Kate (and I hope you are..lol), thank you for this once in a lifetime friendship. Love you.

But what does it all mean..?

2005-03-23T22:07:00.000-05:00

Now isn't that the question of the day...what does it all mean? I had thought that with my second-ever blog post, I would take a few minutes to explain just what the title of my blog means, for anyone who is not familiar with my love of all things celtic. But of course, as life would have it, the dawn of the day today brought a few twists and turns with it and now, I find myself with a few other things on my mind as well.

But first things first. As I mentioned in my last post, I have been pondering the creation of this blog for a few weeks now and in fact, there had been many times when I was more than ready to jump right in but as a certain person who sits across from me at work can attest, there was always one thing stopping me. I didn't have a name for my blog. Now at first glance, I will be the first to admit that this doesn't seem to be that big of a stumbling block. I mean, what difference does it make, really? "Just pick something," I would say to myself..and over the course of the few weeks that I thought about this, I came up with quite a few potential names, only to discard them just as quickly because they weren't 'right'. I think the whole root of this problem lay buried in the fact that I *really* wanted an Elvish name for my blog. Oh yes, I am a Lord of the Rings freak and pround of it (and for the record...we are called Ringers, not geeks!!) and as such, I thought it would be very cool if the title of my blog could actually be written in elvish. But again, that is much easier than it sounds.

So I hmmmed and hawwwed over it, racking my brains for what elvish words I knew that would make sense but still to no avail. It just wasn't coming to me. Now again, why is this so important, you ask? Trust me when I say that...I have absolutely *no* idea!! Most people who know me will be able to tell you that, for whatever reason, I am what one might call obsessed with naming things. I'm pretty sure that virtually every stuff animal that I have ever owned has had a name, my pet fishies had names (Pugsley and Sludge..hehe), my cars have all had names...and I won't even go into the internal debate that was waged when we got our Beagle, Jasper! But anyway, names have always been very important to me and so I knew that I needed to find just the right one if I was going to make a serious stab at this whole blogging thing.

So fast forward then to Friday night and there you find me gearing up for a Girls Night Out to celebrate the birthday of a friend. We went out to dinner and drinks and then some of us moved on to this bar to continue with the festivities. The bar we went to was called Slainte (pronounced Slawn-cha) and it was as I was sitting there on my barstool at the bar, discussing the many attractive attributes of the bartender with my friend, that it occurred to me....I love this bar! Slainte is a great place to be and...wait for it...OMG, wouldn't that just be the *best* name for a blog??

So yes, there you have it, yet another brilliant observation aided by the warming (aka:mind-numbing) effects of my good friend, Rye and 7. And so on Monday, when I *finally* got around to creating this blog I had thought so much about, I eagerly typed in Slainte as the title but at the last minute added Mhath (together, it is pronounced Slawn-cha Vah) because it still just didn't look right.

So after all that, am I going to tell you what it means? Yes, I am. Slainte Mhath is a gaelic phrase meaning 'good health to you', which seemed pretty fitting for here. And on an interesting side-note, Slainte Mhath is also the name of an amazing band from Cape Bretton that I had the pleasure of seeing when they opened for Great Big Sea one memorable night in Ottawa. What can I say...just one more reason for me to love the name! So there you have it...the long and convoluted story of how I named my blog.

Now, with that out of the way, I can concentrate on what has really been on my mind today. My mom called early this morning with some bad news..my uncle had passed away during the night from cancer. And isn't it kind of strange how even though you know it is coming, it still gets you like a blow to the solar plexus when it finally comes to pass. I have been pretty much a mix of emotions all day, each one vying for it's own turn in the spotlight and so tonight, I find myself just plain worn out. I guess if there is one good thing that has come of this along with the pain that is undoubtedly sure to come over the next few days, it is this: when something like this happens, it really has the power to make you sit back on your heels and take a deep breath of fresh air. Life passes us by so quickly that it is even more of a shock when something like this happens, simply because it literally makes you stop. You have no choice. And for a few days, a week, a month, whatever...everything becomes real again and you rediscover just how important things like your family, your friends, and your health really are. I guess that is where I am tonight. My family will be together this weekend for the funeral arrangements and to celebrate Easter and to me, that is more important than ever.

I also had an interesting experience at lunch when I was driving in my car that seemed perfectly fitting with the day that it has been. Driving home at lunch, I was flipping through the radio stations in search of something half decent to listen to when I came across "Time of Your Life" by Greenday, which has always been a very poignant song for me, and truthfully the song that I would want played for me should something ever happen to me (god forbid..sorry, not meant to be morbid). And then when I was driving back to work, I was flipping through the stations again and came across a song that was playing that I just knew couldn't be a coincidence. It was "Country Roads" by John Denver and that song is perhaps the one that I will always associate with going to visit my aunt and uncle when I was much younger. My cousin used to sit with me for hours and play that song on the guitar while we sang it together..and so hearing it today just seemed to be a fitting tribute to all that has passed. I'm not real sure what else to even say about this so I will end by simply saying this...Uncle Norm, you will be missed.

And away we go...

2005-03-21T17:42:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone,

Well, against the advice of some (who shall remain nameless!) and probably against my better judgement, I thought I would give this blogging thing a go. Actually, it seems lately that everybody who is anybody has caught on to the blogging craze and as per usual, I'm a little bit behind the times but I'm getting there in the end. Maybe it is just me but it seems that almost everyone that I have talked to as of late is blogging, has blogged in the past or is at least thinking of blogging at some time in the near future so...why not me? After all, I like to talk (no, really..!) and I think that I can be at least semi-witty at times so this might wind up being a great outlet for me.

Also, it is just a little like my journals (aka: diaries) of old where I could write down my most private thoughts for perusal at a later day. Although...I suppose that it isn't quite the same as my most private thoughts could potentially be viewed by, well, an untold number of people and I used to keep my journal between the mattress of my bed but...I digress. So right..not quite the same and not such a good idea to include my most private thoughts. Blogging Lesson Number One learned and duly recorded.

But seriously. Ever since one of my co-workers told me a couple weeks ago that she was creating a blog of her own, I have been somewhat fascinated with the concept. There have even been a few times when I have been driving along in my automobile and a thought has occurred to me that has caused me to think to myself..."That would be a very cool thing to write a blog about..". Okay, truthfully most of those thoughts have been generated by a song that I happen to be listening to at that particular moment that has unearthed an old memory somewhere in my mind but still...that has to be interesting to someone, right? And really, if not, at least it is interesting to me and that counts for something!

So that brings me to here. Hopefully you shall be seeing many more of my posts and I look forward to finally having a place to trap the various musings that seem to dance around in my head at any given time. I can't promise not to rant and rave as I'm wont to do both at times but hopefully it will be enlightening at best and entertaining at worst. Oh yeah..and I'll see what I can do about working on the semi-witty part.